


The Way of the World

by McKay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 03:18:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 40,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10958553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKay/pseuds/McKay
Summary: After the war, Remus tells the wizarding world to sod off and goes to live as a Muggle, and three years later, Severus comes looking for him, wanting to know how to do the same thing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2004.

And so it was that six months after the end of the second war against Lord Voldemort, Remus J. Lupin stood in the middle of the street in front of the Ministry of Magic, broke his wand, gave the Ministry building a two-fingered salute, and left the wizarding world. 

It was an idea that had been brewing in the back of his mind ever since Sirius' death. He knew that if he survived the war, he would be without resources. He had used the small inheritance from his parents sparingly and made it last for nearly twenty years. He also had a little left over from his teaching salary, but it wouldn't last much longer, even as frugal as he was.

Living with Sirius had helped slow down the financial drain, and Albus began giving him a (very) small monthly payment for his work with the Order after Sirius' death. But with the werewolf employment laws in effect, he couldn't legally be given more than a certain amount, and Remus suspected that Albus was trying to keep quite enough information hidden from the Ministry's prying eyes without adding a salary for a werewolf on top of it. He also knew the payment would stop once the war was over, and the Order was disbanded. The laws, however, would still prevent him from finding employment, and he would be back where he started: on a gradual slide into pauperism.

That was when the idea of leaving the wizarding world to live the rest of his life among Muggles began shifting from a fanciful notion to a distinct possibility.

He did research, pumping Miss Granger for information under the guise of idle curiosity and venturing into the Muggle world when he wasn't needed by the Order. He remembered hearing Lily talk about it, but he'd never spent much time with Muggles or in Muggle areas, thinking that without magic, their lives must be empty and dull.

That was, he learned, far from the truth. Their lives weren't nearly as convenient as those of wizards, but they weren't dull. He began learning of things called television (which had moving pictures like wizard books) and telephones (which were apparently a much cleaner and comfortable method of communication than fire talking) and computers (which stored unheard of amounts of information, the mere thought of which made him eager to get his hands on one).

But the best thing of all was this: Muggles didn't believe in werewolves.

Werewolves were nothing more to them than figments of the imagination, monsters from scary, _fictional_ stories.

He could find a job, find a decent home, live as a normal person -- all because they didn't know his kind really existed.

It took six months after the war ended for him to prepare everything. He used similar magic that he, James, Sirius, and Peter had used so many years ago to create the Marauders Map to forge the necessary Muggle documents he needed, including a birth certificate complete with a new name. He created an entire new life for himself, fully documented.

That was the first step. The next step had been finding a new place to live, someplace quiet and secluded where he couldn't be found. He located a small, peaceful village near the sea that seemed ideal. When he spotted a sign in the window of the local bookshop announcing an employment opportunity, he felt as if Fate was on his side for the first time in his life.

He got the job.

Every day, he went to work at the quaint little Muggle bookshop, sold books, read books, and chatted with the customers. At night, he returned to the wizarding world to wrap up the loose ends of his old life. Once he left, he knew he wouldn't be able to work magic ever again. It would be illegal; it would also leave him open to being tracked, and he did not want to be found, not by anyone. It was a considerable price, giving up his magic, but he was willing to pay it for a life free of poverty and prejudice.

After a few months, he had saved enough money from his new job to rent a small cottage in the woods near the village. It had two bedrooms, and he boarded up the windows of the second bedroom and put heavy locks on the door that even a werewolf's strength couldn't break. He wouldn't be having overnight guests, after all, and he didn't want to run loose in the forest when he was no longer taking the Wolfsbane potion.

When his new life was set up and ready for him to step into, he put his old life behind him entirely. He didn't tell anyone of his plan; he simply walked away. There were a few people who might wonder where he had got to, but he was, he knew, not important enough to anyone to merit searching for. His ties to that world were easily broken, and his regrets were fleeting.

He knew he was the only werewolf in the village, and he suspected he was the only homosexual as well, but he didn't mind. He had sown his share of wild oats in his youth, and if he did ever feel a strong need for sex, he could take a mini-break to London and find a suitable club that would offer him the opportunity of a brief and anonymous encounter, but he didn't expect that would happen often, if at all. One night stands had lost their appeal for him some time ago.

He settled into his new life smoothly and easily. It took a while for the villagers to get to know and accept him, but he was polite and always remembered to let his interested customers know when the newest paperback romance had arrived, which endeared him to the ladies, and he played a fair game of darts and bought rounds of drinks often enough to please the men. It was a quiet life, but a good life, and for the first time in longer than he could remember, he was happy.

And then Severus showed up.

Remus had been away from the wizarding world for over three years when Severus walked into the pub, immediately drawing attention with his antiquated style of clothes and disdainful sneer. Remus could all but see him mentally deducting points for inadequate lighting, pervasive smoke fumes, and sticky spots on the bar and floor.

Severus' gaze swept the room, and for a moment, Remus considered ducking under the table, but if Severus had tracked him this far, there was no point in trying to avoid the inevitable. Instead, he sat up straight and met Severus' gaze when it fell on him.

"Fancy a pint?" he asked as Severus approached his table.

He noticed that some of the other patrons were keeping a watchful eye on Severus, and he smiled, pleased at the sign that he had integrated enough to warrant being looked after like one of their own.

"No, thank you," Severus replied as he sat down opposite Remus, ignoring the wary looks from those around him.

"Then what do you want, Severus?"

"Why do you assume I'm here because I want something?"

"There is no one from where I used to live who would seek me out simply for the pleasure of my company, you least of all."

"Fine," Severus ground out through clenched teeth. "I want to know how you did it."

"Did what?"

"This." Severus waved one hand, gesturing to encompass the room. "How did you manage to set this up? Was it worth it?"

Remus leaned back in his chair, regarding Severus silently for a moment. Of all the people from his past, he least expected to see Severus Snape again, and the fact that Severus had taken the time and effort to locate him intrigued him.

"How did you find me?"

"You haven't answered my questions."

"Answer mine first, and I'll answer yours."

Severus glared at him across the table and gave an impatient snort. "If it will speed matters along, very well." He lowered his voice, leaning forward just enough that Remus could hear him, but the other patrons could not. "I spent the last year investigating rumors of strange noises heard in secluded places. I found three werewolves, four poltergeists, two vampires, and one rather ill-tempered and anti-social leprechaun before I found this place."

Remus sat up straight, staring at him, stunned. "Severus, vampires and grumpy leprechauns are exceedingly dangerous creatures. It's a wonder you weren't injured -- or worse."

"I found the vampires during the daytime and didn't tarry, and the leprechaun and I got on quite well. We're still corresponding."

Remus stared at him a moment longer and then shook his head, chuckling. "Well, your search has ended. Here I am." He picked up his glass and took a sip. "To answer your question, yes, it was worth it. I've been happy here, far happier than I ever was back there."

"Among these people?" Severus' tone was incredulous. "Without magic?"

"They do quite well without it," he said, shrugging. "So do I."

"You don't miss it?"

"Of course I do." Remus looked Severus in the eyes, holding nothing back of the truth; he had no need to, not anymore. "If I still had my wand, I would be tempted to use it, but I don't, and I wouldn't trade what I have here for any amount of magic."

"What exactly do you have?"

"Acceptance."

Severus nodded, telling Remus he understood all that was behind that single word. "Was it easy to do?"

"God, no." Remus shook his head. "It took months of planning and work before I could walk away."

"But it was worth it."

"I already said so, didn't I?" He tilted his head, fixing Severus with a curious look. "What is this all about, Severus? Why are you here?"

"I want you to tell me how you did it. I want out, too."

Remus was unaccustomed to being stunned silent so many times in such quick succession; Severus had definitely set a record.

"You want out."

"That is indeed what I just said."

He stared at Severus, his mouth slightly open as he tried to work out what to say, but far too many responses were crowding his brain at once, and in the end, he simply said, "Let's go back to my place. We can't talk here."

"Very well."

Severus rose to his feet and stood aside to let Remus lead the way; Remus finished off his pint in one swallow and stood. As they passed by the bar, one of the regulars reached out and stopped Remus with a hand on his shoulder, looking Severus over suspiciously.

"All right there?"

"All right." Remus smiled reassuringly. "He's an old friend." He couldn't quite keep the irony out of his voice at that, and he heard Severus' quiet snort behind him.

Somewhat mollified, the patrons who had been listening to the exchange nodded and returned to their own drinks, although the wary darting glances at Severus didn't stop until they were out the door. Remus retrieved his bicycle, but didn't mount it, pushing it as he walked along beside Severus instead.

"I can't afford a car," he explained. "But I don't really need one. I can either walk, ride this, or take a train wherever I want to go."

"It's quicker to Apparate or Floo."

Remus nodded. "It is, but walking and riding have kept me in good shape. It may take a little longer, but it's an acceptable trade-off."

"Do you never wish to go back?"

Remus stopped and turned to face Severus, his expression stern. "If you've been sent here to try to convince me to come back for some reason, you can save your breath. I'll never go back."

"I told you why I'm here, you idiot," Severus retorted. "I don't give a damn whether you go back or not."

Nodding, Remus began to walk again, slanting a sidelong look at his companion as they continued. "Why do you want to leave?"

"That is none of your business." Severus's voice iced over, but Remus merely shrugged and kept walking.

"Suit yourself. I don't give a damn whether you leave or not. I just don't want you to expect it to be easy."

"Very little in my life has been easy, Lupin. I hardly expect this to be any different."

Remus glanced over at him, a warning note in his voice. "Don't call me that around other people. That isn't my name anymore."

"What _do_ I call you, then?"

"Considering I'm to be nothing more than a tool used to get what you want, I don't see why you should call me anything."

Severus raised an eyebrow at him. "You don't trust me with that information? Afraid I'm going to let your little secret slip?" he sneered.

"It wouldn't be unheard of," Remus shot back, but Severus appeared unfazed by the remark -- not that Remus was surprised. He would have been far more surprised to learn Severus _had_ experienced a moment's regret for what he had done.

"Rest assured, I've no intention of telling anyone anything, not when I wish to do the same thing you have done myself."

"Fair enough."

They walked along in silence, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as Remus thought it might have been. The weather was cool and pleasant, and he enjoyed the scents and sounds of twilight time as he did every evening on his way home. Sheep dotted the fields, occasionally calling to each other, and insects and frogs sang duets in the ditch lining the road. He doubted Severus was enjoying the scenery, but he was, and it kept him distracted from this unwelcome invasion into his life until they reached his house.

He was proud of his little cottage. His landlady had said if he decided to settle permanently in the area, they might work out an arrangement for him to buy it, and he was leaning towards staying. Had been, anyway, until Severus' arrival. Whether he would now depended on whether Severus kept his word not to disclose Remus' location.

Fishing his keys out of his pocket, he unlocked the front door and gestured for Severus to precede him into the house. "Welcome to my home." He closed the door behind himself but didn't bother locking it just yet. "Would you like anything? I have tea or something stronger, if you prefer it."

"I don't want anything except information."

Severus sat down in a cozy wingback chair -- one of two, as Remus occasionally enjoyed company of an evening -- by the fireplace, which was unlit. Remus knelt on the hearth and retrieved some kindling and a match while Severus leaned forward, watching raptly as if fascinated by the entire procedure.

"You have to go through all that just to light a fire?" he asked, sounding incredulous, after Remus had -- after two tries -- finally got the kindling lit and the fire was starting to build.

"Living as a Muggle means dealing with a great many inconveniences," Remus said as he sat down in the chair across from Severus, slipping off his shoes and tucking one leg beneath himself. "You have to be wealthy to afford servants, which leaves out most people. For someone on a regular income, that means doing things like lighting fires and cooking, cleaning, and laundry yourself instead of leaving it for the House Elves."

He glanced around the parlor, pleased that it was tidy. Well, reasonably so. He always had books piled everywhere, and a light coat of dust could stand to be wiped away, but he kept the floors swept, he didn't let dishes pile up in his sink, and he made his bed every morning even if he didn't always put his clothes away after he washed them, leaving them stacked on the dresser or in a chair instead.

"You have to wash your own clothes?" Severus appeared almost aghast at that, and Remus didn't bother to hide his smile.

"Yes, I do. I'm saving up for a washing machine, actually," he said. "Meanwhile, I take my clothes to the laundrette."

"And they do your laundry?"

Remus' smile widened at the relief in Severus' voice. "No, I have to do it. A laundrette is a public place where people who don't own washing machines or dryers can go to wash their clothes."

"Public?" Severus was visibly appalled now. "You mean other people can see your clothes -- _all_ of them?"

"Well, yes, but you can see theirs as well, so it's fair. Besides, no one looks." That wasn't quite true; he had sneaked a peek at a rather attractive young man's boxers one day, but he didn't make a habit of it.

"I shall simply have to purchase one of those washing machines, then," Severus declared, his expression one of firm determination, and Remus bit his lip to keep from laughing.

"All right," he replied, somehow managing to keep his tone serious. "You can come with me to the laundrette sometime and learn how to use one, if you like."

"Yes." Severus nodded with satisfaction. "That will do. I will need to buy clothes as well. Muggle clothes," he added, as if Remus hadn't noticed what he was wearing didn't quite fit the local sense of couture.

"I can help with that, too. We could buy a few things here, or we could go to London. There'll be a better selection, and you'll more likely find something to your tastes there. But first I think we should discuss more of the differences you'll face. This isn't something you can simply leap into, Severus. You need papers -- certain types of documents -- to create your Muggle identity. You'll need to think about a job, where you want to live -- there are hundreds of decisions to be made before you can do anything."

"You needn't keep telling me it won't be simple," Severus said, not bothering to hide his irritation. "I've grasped that. I am ready to learn what I must to leave the wizarding world behind."

"You do realize it means working closely with me for quite some time. Weeks, if not months."

Severus gritted his teeth and clenched the arms of his chair until his knuckles turned white. "I am aware of that, and as distasteful as the thought is to me, I am prepared to do what I must. I want this."

It was on the tip of Remus' tongue to ask why again. Curiosity was burning a hole in his mind, but he knew that Severus wouldn't answer him. Not now, perhaps not ever, but he hoped that at some point, Severus would unbend enough to tell him.

"The term ends in a few weeks," he said instead. "Shall we start then?"

"That is agreeable."

"You can stay here, if you like. I have a guest bedroom -- sort of." He smiled wryly. "It'll need a bed, and the windows are boarded up, but I can make it habitable before you arrive."

A grimace twisted Severus' mouth, but he nodded reluctantly. "I suppose that would be the most expedient means of going about this."

"Yes, you'll be able to observe me and learn what I do and how to do it yourself much more quickly than if I simply tell you."

"Very well." Severus rose to his feet and swept towards the door. "I shall return after the term ends."

"Good night, Severus," Remus called after him as he let himself out, but there was no reply.

After a moment, he unfolded himself from his chair and went to lock the door, still more than a little bemused by this unexpected twist. Things had been going so well and so peacefully; he supposed he should have known it was a sign that an upheaval was imminent. Still, he doubted that Severus would want to settle in his new life anywhere near Remus, which meant as soon as Severus had learnt everything he wanted to know, they would go their separate ways again, and Remus could return to his nice, quiet life without any more unpleasant relics from his past popping up to disturb him.

* * *

"What in Merlin's name are those?"

Remus glanced around to find Severus staring at a mannequin wearing a pair of tight bikini briefs. They had come to London to shop for a few clothes for Severus to wear while he stayed with Remus. Not only would it help him stand out less, but it would also help him grow accustomed to wearing Muggle clothes.

Given Severus' lack of enthusiasm for clothes and shopping -- not a surprise to Remus considering everything the man owned was black and concealing -- Remus had chosen a large department store where they could find everything they needed all at one place. He didn't intend to shop for more than a few things, just enough to give Severus a decent change of clothes. He didn't see the point yet; if Severus decided to follow through on his decision, then they could outfit him properly with a complete wardrobe.

Although Remus had caught him cutting his eyes from side to side as they headed to the men's department, Severus had done an excellent job of appearing nonchalant, as if this weren't the first time he had ever been in such a place. Other than a minor incident on the escalator which Severus refused to acknowledge had happened, things had gone smoothly. Apparently, however, the briefs were the final straw that made Severus break his incredulous silence.

"They're underpants, Severus."

"Those things? They look as though they would chafe."

"I wouldn't know." Remus went to a nearby bin and picked up a pair of plain white cotton boxers that were on sale. "I wear this style."

Severus sniffed disdainfully. "How dull."

Scrounging around in the bin, Remus pulled out a pair with bright yellow smiley faces on. "What about these, then? Is this more to your liking?"

If looks could kill, green light would have shot out of Severus' eyes, and Remus chuckled as he tossed the underpants back into the bin.

"Well, you need to choose something," he said. "Look around and see if you find any style you _do_ like."

Stepping back out of the way, Remus watched as Severus prowled around the men's undergarment section of the store, eyeing the selections critically. He circled the entire area once and then began circling again, slower this time. To Remus' surprise, he picked up something that looked like biker's shorts. They were black -- naturally -- but the material seemed stretchy, and they were long, likely reaching mid-thigh.

"You could buy two different kinds and try them to see which you like better," he suggested.

Severus glanced at him and nodded tersely, keeping the underpants in his hand, which Remus took to mean his suggestion was acceptable. After a few more minutes of looking around, he also chose a pair of black silk boxers, glaring defiantly at Remus as if daring him to say anything.

If it had been anyone other than Severus, Remus would have made a teasing remark, but he didn't want to create any tension, not when things had been going well and they still had a great deal of shopping to do. Instead, he led the way over to a selection of trousers, about to point out that a pair of basic tan trousers would go with anything when he realized Severus wasn't with him. Looking around, he spotted Severus in front of a rack of ties, examining them. He removed one from the rack and began winding it around his hands like a garrotte, and Remus immediately took it away from him.

"You don't need a tie unless you buy a suit. Like that," Remus said, indicating a mannequin dressed in a three piece suit complete with a white shirt, a tie, and shoes.

For the first time, Severus' eyes lit up with real interest, and he studied the suit with an admiring gaze. "I want one of those," he said, but Remus shook his head.

"Maybe if you get a job that requires you to wear a suit, but you don't need it right now."

Remus walked over to a wall lined with shelves filled with sweaters and picked out a dark green cable knit sweater, holding it up for Severus to see. "How about this one?"

"No." Severus folded his arms, his expression mulish. "I want a black one."

"You wear nothing but black all the time. Aren't you tired of it?"

"No."

"You're starting a new life. It's the perfect time to make some changes in your wardrobe, too."

"No."

"Severus, really -- would it kill you to wear a color other than black once in a while?"

Severus snatched a black sweater off the shelf and clutched it to his chest. "I want this one!"

"You're setting yourself up to be mistaken for an aging Goth," he retorted, even though he knew the reference would go over Severus' head. "Besides, this is dark green -- one of your House colors. You like that, don't you?" He dangled the sweater enticingly, but Severus glared at him and clutched the black sweater tighter.

Remus sighed as he folded the green sweater and replaced it on the shelf and then picked up one in the same style, only in a deep midnight blue. "What about this one, then? It's close to black."

Severus eyed it warily, as if he were afraid it would somehow lunge at him and affix itself permanently to his body, but after a moment, he -- slowly and reluctantly -- put the black sweater aside. Smiling encouragingly, Remus led him over to the mirror and guided him to stand in front of it.

"You're wise to avoid pastels," he said, holding the sweater up against Severus' chest so he could see how it looked. "But dark colors will look nice on you."

While Severus studied his reflection with a critical eye, Remus returned to the shelf and retrieved the green sweater. He regarded another -- this one a deep crimson, the color of fresh blood -- and his hand hovered over it for a moment as he debated the likelihood of his convincing Severus to wear it.

"Bring the red one anywhere near me, and you'll regret it."

Remus let his hand fall by his side again, a little grin tugging his lips. "It was worth a try. What about burgundy?"

In the end, Severus grudgingly agreed to buy the blue and green sweaters on the condition that he could get a black lightweight shirt for warm weather and a pair of black trousers. He was, however, adamant on the subject of tan trousers.

"They're _light_."

"They're _versatile_."

"Absolutely not!" Severus backed away from the trousers Remus was holding out as if they were tainted with poison. "Why can't I have a pair of those things you're wearing?"

Remus glanced down at himself and then back up at Severus, surprised. "Jeans? I didn't think you would want to dress so casually."

"At least they're dark."

As Remus expected, Severus complained about having to try his selections on, but Remus reminded him sternly that he wouldn't be able to use magic to tailor his clothes, so he might as well get used to checking the fit before purchasing anything. Severus looked put-upon, but he swept away to the nearest changing room without any further argument.

Remus was surprised, however, when Severus emerged a few minutes later wearing a pair of jeans and the dark green sweater. Scowling, he stalked over to the three paneled mirror mounted on the wall nearby.

"The mirror in there is too damned short," he grumbled. "I had to bend over to see myself."

Remus knew there was an appropriate response to that, but for the life of him, he couldn't think of what it was. He was far too busy noticing that Severus -- Severus! -- had a lovely tight ass that the jeans were showcasing nicely.

His gaze wandered down, taking in the entire view. Remus had never noticed how long Severus' legs were before, but the jeans were hiding nothing. His libido -- long dormant and picking one hell of a time to perk up -- was reminding him exactly how much he loved the feel of long legs wrapped around his hips.

Further down his gaze traveled until it fell on Severus' feet. Long. Slender. Bare.

Vaguely, he wondered when his brain would start leaking out of his ears at the mere thought of growing aroused by looking at Severus Snape.

 _Focus on something else_ , he admonished himself. _The hair -- he has greasy hair, remember?_

Well, yes, but a good shampoo for oily hair could help with that.

_What about the big nose, then? There was nothing to fix that except surgery._

What was wrong with his nose anyway? So it was big -- lots of people had big noses. Did Severus' nose necessarily make him ugly?

_Well, no... but his teeth!_

So take him to a dentist and get them cleaned and brightened up a bit. Simple as that, and besides, what were a few crooked teeth compared to those legs and that ass?

_You are not helping._

The little voice in his head merely cackled with evil glee before fading away -- just in time for him to notice Severus had turned and was looking at him.

"What are you staring at?" Severus demanded, an accusatory note in his voice.

Remus mustered a weak smile. "The green does look nice."

* * *

"This," Remus said, gesturing to a small, round appliance, "is a slow cooker, also known as the bachelor's best friend."

He was keeping the tour of the kitchen simple for now. They had only just returned from their shopping expedition, and he didn't want to overwhelm Severus on the very first day, especially since Severus still had to unpack his luggage and his shopping bags and settle into his room, which was actually Remus' room.

After giving it some thought, Remus had decided to let Severus stay in his bedroom rather than trying to make the guest room inhabitable. The plain truth was that he didn't have money to spare for new furniture, and even if he bought the cheapest available and tried to get by with nothing more than a bed and a dresser, it would still have cost more than he could comfortably afford. It would have been so much easier and less expensive if he could have just Transfigured what he needed, but that wasn't an option, not anymore.

But Severus wasn't moving in, only staying for a while until he settled into his own life, and Remus didn't mind sleeping on the couch until Severus was gone. Thus he had helped carry Severus' things upstairs and dropped them off in his own room, making an off-hand comment about not wanting to bother moving heavy furniture out of the guest room during the full moon. Severus had arched an eyebrow at him, but said nothing. It was, Remus thought, just about the only thing Severus hadn't tried to argue about all day.

Severus examined the slow cooker critically. "What does it do?"

"How much do you know about electricity?"

"I know that it powers a great many Muggle objects."

Remus nodded and picked up the cord, holding out the plug for Severus to see. "This thing at the end is called a plug. You push it into receptacles like this one." He pointed out the closest one, and Severus leaned over to peer at it, his gaze shifting back and forth from the plug to the wall outlet. "Once you've plugged something in, it will run on electricity."

"It sends electricity along the cord?" Severus asked, tracing the length of the white cord with his forefinger, and Remus nodded again, pleased with how quickly Severus was grasping the concept. Not that he was surprised; Severus had always been quick and clever. "Where does it come from?"

"Ehm..." Remus paused, trying to figure out how to explain the concept simply. "Well, there are wires in the walls that transmit electricity to the outlets, and the electricity in the wires comes from power generators that harness it. Beyond that, it's like asking where magic comes from," he said, shrugging, and Severus nodded once, apparently satisfied with the answer, much to Remus' relief.

"So what does this thing do once you've plugged it in?" Severus took the cord from Remus' hands and held it up to the light, turning the plug this way and that and poking at it.

"It's rather like a cauldron, actually, which is why I think you'll like it," Remus said as he removed the glass lid. "You put things in, and the slow cooker cooks them. You can set it to low or high heat, depending on how quickly you want it to cook. It's very good for making soups and stews, but you can make other things, too. I cooked a small chicken in it once, and it turned out rather well."

"Are we going to brew something now?" Although his expression didn't reveal anything, there was an anticipatory note in Severus' voice, and Remus grinned, not at all surprised that Severus' interest had been piqued by this particular appliance.

"I thought we might put some vegetable soup together. We can let it cook overnight and have it tomorrow. Tonight, I thought we might go to the pub for dinner." He leaned on his hip against the counter, looking Severus over for signs of fatigue. "I don't want to wear you out on your first day, and they have very good fish and chips. The shepherd's pie is excellent as well. Oh, and we must go on a day when Deirdre has made rabbit stew -- it's heavenly. The hard-hearted wench won't tell me her secret, though, and I can't quite get the seasoning right, no matter what I try."

Severus folded his arms and regarded Remus with what almost seemed like a hint of amusement. "Do you always get this excited about food?"

Laughing sheepishly, Remus nodded and pushed himself away from the counter, moving to the refrigerator. "Even after three years, I'm not quite accustomed to not worrying about where my next meal is coming from, and my love affair with food is still going strong." He grinned at Severus over his shoulder. "Now you know why I don't mind walking and riding my bicycle everywhere."

Opening the door, he retrieved a few carrots and tomatoes and glanced over at Severus again. "I have potatoes and onions in the larder, if you don't mind getting them. One onion and two or three potatoes should do, depending on the size."

Severus grunted a response that could have been agreement or annoyance, but he went to the larder, and Remus continued gathering up vegetable and laid them out on the counter near the slow cooker. He pulled out his wood cutting board and two knives, handing one to Severus when he returned with the potatoes and onions and dropped them unceremoniously on the counter.

"Peel the potatoes, if you don't mind," Remus said, picking up the other knife and starting to slice the tomatoes. "That should be simple for you, as much practice as you've had with shrivelfigs."

A snort was the only response he got, and he smiled as he focused on his own work, occasionally glancing at Severus to make sure he wasn't having any difficulties. He wasn't -- Severus wielded the knife as deftly as Remus expected, and the potatoes were peeled much more quickly and neatly than Remus would have managed to do. They worked in silence, but to Remus' surprise, it wasn't awkward. They were both absorbed in the tasks at hand, and neither of them were the small talk type anyway. He felt oddly comfortable working side-by-side with Severus; it was much better than the antagonism that tended to arise when they talked.

Finally, they reached the last stage, and Remus opened the cabinet containing his spices, removing several small bottles of herbs he thought might work well in the soup. Severus immediately snatched up the bottle of tarragon and opened it, recoiling with disgust when he sniffed the contents.

"This is shit. You should buy fresh herbs," he declared, and Remus turned to him with an aggrieved look.

"They don't last as long, and I _am_ still on a budget. I can't afford to buy things that will end up going to waste."

"Then why don't you grow your own?"

"Because my marks in Herbology were abysmal," Remus said, bracing his hands on his hips. "Professor Lichen said he hated giving me plants to tend in class, because he felt like he was sending them to their inevitable doom."

"We'll have to work with what we have, then," Severus replied, sounding put-upon as he sorted through the bottles on the counter and peered into the cabinet as well before making his choices -- unusual ones, to Remus' mind. He almost protested when Severus began sprinkling herbs into the soup, but he held his tongue, especially when it became obvious that Severus was taking the job seriously, measuring out precise amounts and using specific combinations. He had a plan, and Remus decided to reserve judgment until he had tasted the final results.

While Severus put the herbs away, Remus replaced the lid on the slow cooker, plugged it in, and flipped on the heat to low. Turning to Severus again, he nodded briskly. "There now. Tomorrow, we'll have soup. Are you interested in going out for dinner? If not, I can make some sandwiches."

"I'd prefer the fish and chips you mentioned."

"You'll want to change clothes, then." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Remus cringed inwardly, hoping Severus wouldn't choose to wear the jeans and green sweater.

Naturally, he did.

Remus sighed and resigned himself to an evening of trying to ignore everything about Severus from the waist down.

Companionable silence fell over them again as they walked to the pub. Remus made a mental note to ask Severus if he wanted to learn how to ride a bicycle, but for now, they would walk; he half-expected Severus to complain about the distance, but he didn't. He seemed lost in thought, and rather than interrupt, Remus let his own mind wander, thinking about all the things Severus would need to learn before he could start his new life. He remembered how he had felt during his first few months, how disoriented and confused he had been as he tried to figure things out on his own. All the research in the world couldn't prepare him for the reality, and there had been times when he had wanted to give up and return to the familiarity of his old life.

But he had persevered, and eventually, what had seemed strange and even frightening at times became familiar as well; now he was happy where he was. Severus would at least have someone to help make his adjustment smoother, whether he ever acknowledged or appreciated it or not.

When they arrived at the pub, Remus was greeted by the regulars, and he smiled and greeted them warmly in return, enjoying the feeling of acceptance and belonging as always. Severus snorted when he heard Remus addressed by the name he had chosen for himself, but Remus merely shrugged. "I like it," he said and offered no further explanation than that, assuming Severus wouldn't be interested.

Once they were settled at a table with a pint to enjoy while they waited for their food to arrive, Remus slouched comfortably in his chair, relaxing in the cozy atmosphere. A fire crackled on the hearth, and a low murmur of conversation filled the room, punctuated by the clink of glass and the thwack of darts hitting the board in the corner.

"You like it here."

It wasn't a question, but Remus answered anyway. "I do, yes. I like the sense of community here. I feel like I've finally found a place to belong."

"You don't, though," Severus said bluntly. "You never will. You may have given up magic, but you'll never be one of them, not really."

"I'll never belong in that world, either," he replied, a sharp edge to his voice. He knew the truth of Severus' words, but that didn't mean he liked it. "I'll never fit in either place, not completely, but at least here, I'm not subjected to prejudice. I'm not living in poverty."

"Do you feel less of an outsider here than there?" Severus finished off his pint and stretched out his long legs, crossing them at the ankle; they rested alongside Remus' chair, and Remus squelched the urge to reach down and run his hand along the length of them, forcing himself to focus on Severus' question instead.

"Yes. I won't say I don't ever feel a sense of isolation. I do. But it's rare, and the benefits far outweigh a few moments of loneliness here and there."

Severus tilted his head questioningly. "I assumed you had someone to prevent loneliness."

"I have friends, yes, but--"

"I meant a lover," Severus interrupted. "I thought you would have had one of those by now, especially considering how those two women over there have been ogling you since we came in."

Dull heat rose in Remus' cheeks at Severus' words, and he avoided turning around to see whom Severus meant. The problem with being a relatively young, single man in a small village was that he was a rare commodity, and all the single women were determined that one of their ranks should claim him. So far, he had eluded capture, managing to lessen the blow of rejection with polite charm without giving away his preference for men.

"They could be ogling _you_ ," he retorted, and Severus uttered a harsh bark of derisive laughter at that.

"Don't be ridiculous." Severus' tone was scathing, and the heat in Remus' cheeks intensified.

"I'm not," he mumbled into his beer. "You look nice. They're probably trying to see if you're wearing a wedding ring or not."

Casually, Severus shifted his hand so it was visible, and in a matter of moments, two more beers were delivered to their table, "courtesy of Sarah and Margaret," according to the bartender.

"Free beer just for being single," Severus mused as he took a long drink. "I could grow accustomed to this."

* * *

Remus hummed to himself as he bent over the bathroom sink, the sound barely audible over the whirr of his electric shaver. The song had been stuck in his head for days, ever since Lydia began playing the CD it was on over the bookshop's sound system on a seemingly endless loop.

Since the shop's sound system consisted of a battered CD player with a broken handle that had seen at least two previous owners, it was easy to customize their music. When Remus worked alone, he always played soft, soothing music that wouldn't jar the customers out of their browsing, usually classical or Celtic music. But Lydia was seventeen and madly in love with the lead singer of the band who performed the song in question, and since she only worked one afternoon each week to watch the front while someone else stocked the shelves with new inventory or handled the bookwork, Remus didn't squabble with her over her choice of music.

He did, however, plan to buy a Carpenters CD to play the next time they worked together and to guard the CD player so she couldn't change it. He didn't actually like the Carpenters, but he felt Lydia deserved them for getting that damned song stuck in his head for the better part of a week. Maybe a few choruses of "You Light Up My Life" would teach her to vary her selections a bit.

He tipped his chin up, gliding the shaver along his throat -- and suddenly the door flew open, and Severus burst in.

"I heard a strange sound. What are you doing in here?"

Letting out a startled yelp, Remus jumped and dropped the shaver in the sink, where it vibrated against the porcelain. Severus immediately moved to stand by the sink, staring down at the shaver with rapt fascination, reaching out to poke at it.

"What does this do?"

Clutching the folds of his dressing gown in one hand, Remus retrieved the shaver with the other and flipped its switch to off. The whirr stopped, and Severus looked at him with obvious disappointment that quickly shifted to sardonic amusement.

"For Merlin's sake, stop acting so missish. I've no designs on your virtue."

Glancing down at himself, Remus realized he had wrapped his dressing gown tightly around himself, as if trying to cover every possible expanse of bare skin and shield it from sight, which really was ridiculous. He wasn't naked, after all. He had on the long, cotton pyjama bottoms that he slept in, plus the dressing gown -- hardly a revealing ensemble.

It was the intimacy that shook him, he supposed, and the fact that Severus was already dressed. He hadn't expected to be seen in a state of semi-undress by Severus, and he felt a little shy, not only because of his attraction to Severus, but also because he didn't want to risk seeing revulsion in Severus' eyes at the sight of him.

"You startled me, that's all," he said at last. "To answer your question, it's an electric shaver." Noticing the dark stubble on Severus' face, he offered the device, and Severus took it gingerly. "You turn it on with the switch -- there. Now just run it along your jaw. You don't have to press hard."

He stepped aside so that Severus could see himself in the mirror, and Severus moved in front of the sink, holding the shaver carefully as if he thought it might bite him. Following Remus' instructions, he drew it along his jawline and over his chin, grimacing.

"It feels odd," he complained.

"You'll get used to it. It's that, or a razor, and you could end up with a face full of nicks if you use one of those."

"Speak for yourself," Severus replied scathingly. "I happen to be very good with my hands."

 _Exactly what I needed to know_ , Remus thought, repressing a groan. "I'm finished in here, so I'll just leave you to shave and brush your teeth. You don't need any help figuring _that_ out, do you?"

"Piss off, Lupin."

"Right, then. Call if you need me."

With that, Remus retreated hastily to his bedroom, ignoring the rumpled sheets on the unmade bed and all accompanying thoughts of Severus and his long, lickable legs tangled up in those sheets, and rummaged through the wardrobe for something to wear. It took him a minute or two to decide, and then he spent more time than usual in front of the mirror, fretting over whether he needed a haircut or not. He told himself that he was taking extra pains with his appearance only because he felt like it, but the taunting little voice in the back of his head didn't believe him.

Once they were both dressed and downstairs, Remus invited Severus to help him make breakfast, intending to show him how to operate the stove.

"These are burners," he explained. "You don't have to turn all of them on, just the ones you want to use. See these knobs? They each correspond to a particular burner, and you can adjust the heat by turning the knob. Just don't forget to turn it off when you're finished."

"I'm not a child. I'm perfectly capable of remembering to turn something off without being reminded," Severus replied with icy hauteur.

Privately, Remus thought he deserved about twenty points for biting his tongue and not pointing out that it was easy to be distracted and forget something like that when one wasn't certain what one was doing in the first place.

Having to walk Severus through each stage slowed the process down, and Remus only had time to fix scrambled eggs with toast and jam and still have enough time to eat before leaving.

"I have to go to work today," he said as he picked up his plate and carried it to the sink. "But I have plenty of books you may borrow, or you could take a walk to the village and look around. Tonight, I'll show you how to use my computer, and that should give you plenty to do while I'm gone during the day."

"I'm sure I'll manage without you somehow," Severus drawled.

Remus shot him A Look. "You could make yourself useful and wash the dishes. Just put the stopper in the plug hole and fill it with hot water. The little bottle filled with green liquid under the sink is the soap, and there's a drying towel on the rack inside the cabinet door. You could try making up the bed, too, while you're at it."

Severus grunted and returned his attention to the newspaper; the last thing Remus heard as he walked out the door was grumbling about the pictures that didn't move.

He felt a little uneasy about leaving Severus alone all day, but he didn't have much choice. He couldn't just drop everything in order to cater to Severus for several weeks, not when he had bills to pay. He wasn't sure they would do well with such levels of togetherness anyway; he needed private time, and he imagined Severus did, too. Still, Severus was a grown man and a quick learner, and there was plenty of food in the fridge that didn't require cooking, plus the soup they had made the night before, which meant he didn't have to use the stove or any other appliance if he didn't want to. Surely nothing could go wrong in just a few hours.

When he opened the door and smelled smoke, Remus knew he had been wrong about that.

He dashed inside, half-expecting to see his home engulfed in flames, but there was only Severus sitting in the parlor with an open book in his lap and obviously trying to appear nonchalant.

"Lupin." His tone and demeanor were too casual to be casual, and Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"What did you do?"

"I have no idea what you mean."

"I smell smoke, Severus. What happened?"

Severus waved one long-fingered hand negligently. "A slight mishap in the kitchen. Nothing to be concerned about."

"Oh, bloody hell..."

Remus darted into the kitchen, braced for the worst. The good news, he thought as he surveyed the damage, was that nothing had exploded or burnt up.

He picked up the blackened and blistered remains of his kettle by two fingers, examining it mournfully. Hopeless. It was ruined, and it wasn't replaceable either; it was one of the few things he had carried over with him from his old life. He hadn't kept many of his old things, not wanting reminders of the painful life he had left behind, but he couldn't bear to part with his kettle, smoke-bottomed and battered thing that it was, after it had been with him through so many dark days, brewing the cups of tea that had sometimes been the only bright spot in his life.

There was smoke residue on the wall near the stove, and a large puddle of soapy water on the floor near the sink, along with the burnt tatters of a dish towel and a soaking wet bath towel. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose, debating whether he really wanted to know the details of what had happened and how. He wasn't angry -- the damage could have been a lot worse, and Severus could have got hurt -- but this was hardly what he wanted to come home to after work. Still, it was to be expected while Severus was still learning.

"I was trying to make tea," Severus said, and Remus turned to see him standing in the doorway.

"You forgot to turn off the stove."

Scowling, Severus waved again, irritably this time. "You needn't make such an issue of it. It could happen to anyone."

"At least you didn't try to pour water on the stove."

"I remembered what you said about the hair dryer last night."

"Thank God for small favors." Remus dropped the kettle back into the sink and sighed. "Well, I'll buy another tomorrow after work."

"I'll reimburse you, of course," Severus said gruffly, and Remus glanced at him, surprised by the offer.

"That isn't necessary."

"I ruined the damned thing," he snapped. "I'll pay for its replacement."

"I simply think you should be careful about how much you spend until you find a job," Remus said, and Severus gave an annoyed snort.

"I'm not _you_ , for Merlin's sake. I may not be rich, but I haven't been living one jump ahead of poverty, either. Living at Hogwarts during most of the year has allowed me to save up a tidy sum over the past twenty years. I have more than enough to help me set up house until I find employment."

"All right, then." Remus nodded, squelching a little twinge at the mention of his former financial status; he hadn't forgotten that Severus had had a hand in helping him along that road to poverty. All things considered, perhaps a new kettle wasn't too much to ask -- the more expensive kind that whistled so Severus couldn't possibly forget to turn off the burner again. "I'll bring you the receipt."

"Fine."

An awkward moment settled over the room, and Remus glanced around to distract himself, but he decided against tackling the mess just then. He wanted to unwind a bit first, and he was dying for a cup of tea. He turned to Severus, who was still standing in the doorway, his arms folded.

"Would you still like some tea?"

"The kettle is ruined," Severus replied sulkily.

"I can boil some water in a pan. The cups are over there," he instructed, pointing to the proper cabinet as he retrieved a small pan and filled it with water.

He approached the stove with some trepidation, but the burner began to heat when he turned the knob, and nothing burst into flames, which was a relief. A kettle was far easier and less expensive to replace than a stove.

"I have Earl Grey, orange pekoe, and a chai blend that I think you might like."

Severus hesitated a moment and then moved to fetch the cups and saucers. "I would like to try the chai."

"All right." Remus nodded amiably, watching and waiting for the water to boil. "It's a bit strong. You'll want to add milk," he suggested.

"I'll do that."

Once the tea was ready, Severus returned to the parlor, but Remus stayed in the kitchen, wanting a few minutes alone. A new novel that had been much-anticipated by the ladies of the village had arrived that day, and the traffic had been steady all day, with mostly women coming in to buy it, but a few sheepish men as well, come to purchase it for their wife or girlfriend. Some of the women had lingered, reading the first few pages and nattering excitedly about them with their friends, and some had extolled at length to Remus about the author's previous works. Not every day was so busy or so draining, but even the quiet village bookshop had its hectic moments, and now Remus was tired and in want of silence for a time.

He was still sitting there, gazing off into space, when Severus walked in and went straight to the sink to rinse out his cup and put it on the rack to dry. Without a word, he picked up the soapy wet towel and, after wringing it out in the sink, went to work on the walls, scrubbing at the soot, seeming to ignore Remus entirely. After a moment, Remus got up and rinsed out his own cup, and then went to fetch another towel and his mop.

Within an hour, they had not only cleaned up the mess from Severus' accident, but also the rest of the kitchen until it was cleaner than it had been that morning before Remus left. They worked in silence, and Remus was careful to avoid bumping into Severus; it seemed to him that Severus did the same, resulting in an odd but functional little dance as they moved around in the small space. After everything had been disposed of or put away, they surveyed their handiwork for a moment. Remus was pleased with the results; there had been no obvious damage, and hopefully, Severus had learnt a valuable lesson about stoves.

"Well done," he said, letting his satisfaction be heard in his voice.

"It would have been faster with magic."

"You are utterly spoilt," he replied without rancor. "Now then -- do you want to learn how to play chess on my computer before dinner?"

"Chess?" Severus' eyes lit up with interest, and Remus smiled as he led Severus to his computer desk and showed him how to start up the computer.

Two hours later, Remus gave up waiting and brought a bowl of soup to Severus at the computer and then got a bowl for himself, curling up in a nearby chair and watching with growing amusement as Severus snarled and hurled threats at the computer when it beat him yet again.

"It's this damned thing's fault!" Severus exclaimed, waving the mouse. "I can't get the curse to move where I want it!"

"Curs _or_ , Severus. It isn't a curse."

"Yes, it is! A curse, a plague, and a nuisance!" Severus pouted as he picked up the bowl and spoon and began to eat, shooting baleful glares at the computer screen.

"We can change the skill level back to easy," Remus offered, but Severus looked as if he might throw the bowl at him for the mere suggestion.

Remus smiled and shrugged, and then began to eat. At the first bite, his eyes grew wide, and he looked at Severus, amazed.

"This is incredible," he said. "Your seasoning is delicious. I've never managed to make soup this good."

A smirk curved Severus' lips, and he stopped muttering dire threats at the computer long enough to preen at the compliment. "I always thought I would do well at cooking if I ever turned my hand to it."

"Now if only you could boil water."

"Shut up, Lupin."


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days passed without incident, much to Remus' relief. The day after the Kettle Incident of Which They Did Not Speak, Remus bought a new kettle, unable to entirely suppress a grin as he pointed out its whistling feature, especially when Severus gave him the Glare of Messy Death. Severus had repaid him and proceeded to pretend it had never happened.

Between Remus' personal library and computer chess, Severus was well occupied during the day, and he even began to tidy up around the house without being asked first, although one day, Remus came home to find Severus cursing loud enough to be heard downstairs after having coated the entire bathtub with a thick layer of cleaning foam instead of merely a thin misting, and it kept bubbling while he tried to rinse it out.

Usually, however, Severus was playing chess when Remus got home from work, having become grimly determined to win, no matter how long or how many games it took. It had, it seemed to Remus, become Severus' personal mission to beat the computer at chess.

"If you're so eager to win, why don't you just play me?" Remus suggested. "I have a chess set. We can play any time you like."

That evening, they had played three games after a dinner of roast chicken and vegetables cooked by Remus and seasoned by Severus; it wasn't that Remus didn't trust Severus near the stove, but he preferred to be around to supervise for a while longer, just in case. Severus won the first game and gloated throughout the second game, which Remus won. The third was the tie-breaker, and, his smugness deflated, Severus concentrated harder that time and won again.

They talked very little during the games, but Severus did mention the possibility of exploring the village and its environs on his own, and Remus supposed that he was growing restless after being in the house for so long. Remus offered to teach him how to ride the bicycle, half-expecting him to refuse, but Severus accepted the offer, and it was settled that he should have his lesson on Saturday, if it wasn't raining.

Saturday morning dawned bright and fair, and Severus was up early, stomping around the house noisily and giving Remus no chance for a nice lie-in on his day off.

"Another hour, Severus, please," he groaned and rolled onto his side, pulling his blanket over his head to block out the sun when Severus opened the curtains. "Can't you find something to do that long?"

With a put-upon sigh, Severus turned on the computer and settled in to play what had to be his thousandth game of chess, but between the sound effects of the game and Severus' grumbling, Remus couldn't get back to sleep. With an annoyed growl, he wrapped the blanket around himself and went upstairs to reclaim his bed, even if it was only for a short while. He sighed with pleasure as he slid between the sheets and settled into his favorite sleeping position on his lovely firm mattress.

His bed. His wonderful, comfortable bed.

That smelled like Severus.

And there were long, black hairs on the pillow.

He was surrounded by Severus, and all the sensory input created images of Severus lying sprawled in this bed -- Remus' bed -- relaxed in sleep, his hair fanned out on the pillow. Perhaps his jaw had dropped slightly in his sleep, leaving his lips parted, tempting, waiting for a tongue to be slipped between them...

Flinging back the covers, Remus abandoned all thoughts of getting any more sleep that morning as he rolled out of bed and stalked off to take a shower and have a wank while he was at it.

Once they were outside and Remus had retrieved his bicycle, he wheeled it onto the path leading from his house to the road, not wanting to start Severus off on asphalt when he was likely to fall a great deal.

"It's a matter of balance," he explained. "You keep yourself balanced so the bicycle will stay upright. You steer using the handles, and you propel yourself forward using the pedals."

"I have an excellent sense of balance, Lupin. I'm sure it will be simple enough."

"Maybe so, but--"

"Just move aside, Lupin."

Remus opened his mouth, but then closed it again and shrugged, releasing the handlebars and turning the bicycle over to Severus. Some people had to learn things the hard way, he thought as he stepped back, moving out of the way.

Severus swung one leg over the bicycle -- Remus quickly squelched the little pang of hunger that shot through him at the sight -- and settled on the seat carefully, as if testing its sturdiness. Seeming satisfied, he put one foot on a pedal. So far, so good, although Remus had to clasp his hands behind his back to keep from offering to help. With a self-satisfied look, Severus grasped the handles firmly, put his other foot on the other pedal, and launched himself forward.

He rolled less than two feet, wobbling madly, and fell over.

Torn between laughter and concern, Remus rushed forward. The other man was in a tangle of bicycle and limbs, squawking at the indignity of it, and Remus lifted the bicycle off him, lowering the kickstand so he could leave it while he checked Severus for injuries.

Other than his pride and minor scrapes on his palms, Severus seemed unhurt, but Remus valiantly refrained from saying "I told you so" as he extended one hand to help Severus up. Glaring furiously, Severus knocked Remus' hand away and snarled up at him.

"Don't touch me!"

Stunned by the unexpected ferocity, Remus stared at him, silent and wide-eyed, before spreading both hands by his sides and backing away, clenching his jaw as he struggled to maintain a neutral expression. He felt a constriction around his chest, making it difficult for him to draw breath as he watched Severus scramble to his feet and begin to dust himself off, and he mentally damned himself for forgetting one simple, basic fact: Severus hated him.

It didn't matter that Severus had come to him for help, that they had seemed to rub along together fairly well, that there had seemed to be an end to the hostilities at last. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. Severus still hated him, just as he had hated James, Sirius, and Peter. The only difference was that they were dead, he was alive, and Severus needed him for something. He was a tool, nothing more. He had known that in the beginning, but he had allowed himself to forget. Allowed himself to think maybe they could become friends. But he was a fool to hope that Severus would ever want his friendship.

"I don't think you really need me for this," he said coolly when he found his voice at last. "You can practice along the path until you get it right."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he turned and strode away at a brisk pace without having any destination in mind other than "away from Severus". He considered going into the village, but he didn't want to be around people at the moment; he wasn't up to pretending everything was fine, and there was no one he could confide in about this particular problem. Instead, he headed into the woods, wandering amid the trees until the cool shade and quiet solitude restored his peace, and he felt calm once more.

Lunchtime came and went, but he didn't return home. Even after the initial sting of rejection passed, he didn't feel like seeing or talking to Severus, not just yet. Ignoring the growl of his stomach, he reclined beneath a tree and dozed for a while; when he woke up, he walked for a while longer.

When he finally went home, it was late afternoon, and he was starving, not to mention desperate for tea, but he felt capable of facing Severus again with the same polite amiability with which he had begun their venture. He would simply be more careful this time and not forget that any closeness that seemed to arise between them was nothing more than an illusion -- wishful thinking on his part.

As soon as he walked through the door, Severus appeared, scowling at him. "Where have you been?" he demanded crossly.

"Walking." Remus smiled politely as he slipped off his shoes. "How did you fare with the bicycle?"

"I stopped falling."

"That's good."

Brushing past Severus, he went straight to the kitchen to fix some tea and a sandwich, remaining in the kitchen by himself to eat; tools were not obliged to provide companionship or conversation, after all. After clearing away his dishes, he went upstairs to take another shower and get dressed for the event that had been his usual Saturday evening activity for the past four weeks. He always dressed up a little for the occasion, wearing his nicest trousers, a white button-down shirt, and a jacket -- not tweed, however, as he thought it made him look too stodgy, and no tie.

As he loped down the stairs, he debated whether he should tell Severus where he was going, and he had nearly talked himself into simply leaving when Severus poked his head out of the parlor, frowning when he saw Remus. "You're going out?"

Remus unconsciously smoothed the front of his jacket and stopped himself abruptly when he realized he was doing it. "Yes. I shouldn't be too late, though, unless I go for a drink with someone after."

"Where are you going?" Severus leaned against the doorframe, his frown deepening.

Arching a questioning eyebrow, Remus gazed steadily at him. "We have a dance teacher who's giving an eight week ballroom dancing course in the village hall. I've been attending."

"Ah."

"Yes." Briefly, he considered asking Severus if he wanted to go, but thought better of it. He could only imagine the response he would get, and it just wasn't worth the effort at the moment. "Well, I'm off," he said, heading for the door.

"I won't wait up."

"I don't expect you to."

"Good."

With that, Severus whirled and stormed back into the parlor, and Remus walked out the door, wondering why he felt as if they had just had a domestic squabble when they weren't even friends, much less a couple.

* * *

"You don't seem like yourself tonight."

Remus glanced down at Annabeth, surprised by her comment, and saw that she was watching him with a shrewd, searching expression as they waltzed around the make-shift dance floor in the village hall.

They made a striking couple, and they both knew it. Annabeth was a widow, only ten years or so older than Remus, but she didn't look it. Her face was barely lined, her figure was neat and trim, and she was always dressed fashionably. Like Remus, she had grey in her hair that she didn't bother to dye, but it didn't detract from her beauty.

Her husband had died of a heart condition just two years before, leaving her a lot of money and a lot of land which made her a focus of attention for the older, single men in town just as Remus was a focus for the single women. But Annabeth had decided not to deal with men except on her own terms, and, since they were both practicing avoidance, they had gravitated naturally towards each other.

Together, they moved with smooth, easy grace, picking up the steps each week quickly and enjoying their turns on the dance floor. She had been the one to ask him to attend the classes with her, because she wanted to learn how to dance, but didn't want to give any of the hopeful men the wrong impression by asking one of them.

This had, of course, given rise to speculation around the village that they were a couple, which amused them both to no end. Annabeth had guessed some time ago that Remus was gay; he hadn't bothered to deny it, and their friendship had deepened after that, both secure in the knowledge that the other knew there was no hope for romance to bloom.

"It's nothing," he said, giving a reassuring smile. "I have something on my mind, that's all."

She cocked her head, her expression questioning. "It wouldn't have something to do with your friend, would it?"

"He isn't my friend. We went to school together, and we worked together briefly." He sighed and shook his head, wishing he could talk to her about Severus; she was sensible and would likely have good advice, but there was too much he would have to leave out, and he didn't want to risk giving away anything he shouldn't. "It's a complicated situation."

"Well, just go home and give him a good shag. That always sorted things out with my Andrew."

Remus burst out laughing at that, both startled and amused by her blunt assessment. "He wouldn't want to shag me."

Annabeth looked him up and down, and he felt himself blush at her open appraisal. "Is he stupid or merely blind?"

"He isn't gay, for one thing," he replied, a wry smile quirking his mouth. "Even if he were, he wouldn't be interested in shagging _me_. We have a rather tangled history together, and he's raised grudge-holding to the level of an art form."

"Then maybe you should sit down and have a long talk with him and see if you can't untangle some of that history," she suggested.

"I'd like to, but Severus is... uncommunicative."

"Tell me again why you're putting up with him?"

"I've been wondering that myself."

After the lesson ended, they went to the pub with some of their classmates, and they had just enough beer to bring out their respective mischievous streaks. Giggling madly, they decided to wind up everyone connected to the local grapevine by letting themselves be seen kissing good-night. It was only on the cheek, but they knew by the time the tale was spread around the next morning, the gossips would have them snogging frantically, complete with tongues.

Still in a alcohol-induced good humor, Remus returned home, letting himself in quietly in case Severus had already gone to bed. He wouldn't have been surprised to find his guest still up, playing yet another game of chess, but the computer was turned off, as were all the downstairs lights except for one small lamp on the end table next to the couch.

 _Just as well_ , he thought as he shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it over the nearest chair. They needed a break from each other anyway.

The next morning, Remus woke up feeling much better, able to put his hurt feelings into perspective. Severus was Severus, after all, and he shouldn't expect anything more or better from the man. Still, he didn't intend to go out of his way to talk to Severus as much as before, and breakfast was a silent affair until Remus offered to teach him how to use the internet.

"What is the internet?" Severus asked as Remus waited for the modem to connect.

"It's a vast network of information and entertainment. You can look up information about almost anything you want to know."

"Does it have information on our world?"

"No." Remus shook his head and double-clicked on the browser icon, and then stood and let Severus take his place at the desk. "They don't believe magic is real, or that dragons or centaurs or werewolves exist," he added with a trace of irony in his voice, and Severus snorted loudly.

"Right under their bloody noses, and they don't see it." Severus stared at the browser's home page, which was a news site. "What am I looking at?"

"This is called a website. There are millions of them, some created by official organizations and some created by individuals for their own personal use. This one is like an online newspaper, only it updates more than once a day. So if you want to know the latest news or weather, you look here."

"Where are the articles? I don't see anything but headlines," Severus said, frowning at the screen.

"See how the headlines are underlined and in a different color? That means they're links. You move the cursor over them and click the mouse, and it takes you to the article. Try it with that headline under the entertainment section, the one about Robbie Williams."

"Who the hell is Robbie Williams?"

"Just do it," Remus said, not wanting to admit he hoped there would be an accompanying photo.

There was, and Remus skimmed the article and admired the photo for a moment before showing Severus how to use the back button and letting him pick an article to read.

After Severus had grown accustomed to scrolling up and down pages and clicking on links, Remus decided they could move on to searches, showing Severus how to find the Google search page.

"Now click your cursor in the box." He leaned on his hip against the desk as he supervised. "There -- see how you have a blinking line in the box now? That means you can type in key words for things you want to find."

"Like what?"

"Like anything." Remus thought for a moment. "Say you wanted to find some new recipes to try. You could type in 'chicken recipes', and it would give you a list of sites that have recipes using chicken. This one, for example."

He pushed himself away from the desk, ignoring how Severus rolled his chair back as he leaned over to take the mouse and pull down his bookmarks menu. He intended to show Severus an innocuous site with cleaning and cooking tips designed especially for single men having to cope on their own, one that he frequently visited, but between the awkwardness of leaning over to move the mouse and avoiding contact with Severus, his finger slipped, and he clicked on the wrong bookmark.

If he hadn't been mortified enough to crawl under the desk and never come out, he would have laughed at the stunned look on Severus' face at the sight of an animated graphic featuring a buff young man on his knees, sucking the cock of another buff and tan young man, with flashing neon letters at the top of the screen proclaiming, **"XXX HOT GAY PORN! XXX"**

"Fuck!" He scrambled frantically to click the back button, but Severus sat up straight and pointed at the screen.

"You didn't tell me Muggles have moving pictures!" he exclaimed indignantly.

"It's called an animation." Remus struggled to keep his voice calm once he had backed out of the porn site and got rid of all the damned pop up ad boxes, but he could feel his entire face burning. "It isn't exactly the same as wizard photography."

"But it moved! Bring it back. I want to see it."

"I could show you something else--"

"I want to see that one," Severus insisted.

"I don't think it's the most appropriate--"

"I'd no idea you were such a prude, Lupin. It isn't as if I haven't ever seen pornography before."

"Yes, but it's--"

"Just show me the damned site!"

"All right!"

They glared and huffed at each other for a moment before Remus leaned over and hit the forward button, taking them back to the porn. Severus examined the page closely while Remus focused his attention on the curtains and noted that he should vacuum them soon, as they were looking dusty.

"What is a 'movie'?"

"Moving pictures designed to tell a story or document an event," Remus explained. "The difference between them and wizard photographs is that these aren't interactive."

"I want to see one." Severus clicked on the 'enter site' graphic, and the log-in box popped up with Remus' user name already displayed. "Oh, you're a member, are you?" He smirked up at Remus, who glared back, wishing that he did still have his wand so he could give Severus the thorough hexing he deserved. "Well, well, well. Who would have guessed. So tell me, did you and the mutt ever...?"

"No, we did not!" Remus drew himself up to his full height and gazed haughtily down at Severus, drawing the tattered remains of his dignity around him as best he could. "My personal life is none of your business, and I'm not going to discuss it with you."

"I don't give a damn about your personal life anyway," Severus retorted, folding his arms across his chest. "I want to see one of those movie things."

"Fine." Still glaring, Remus leaned over and swiftly typed in his password and then hit the enter button.

"Fine." Severus reached for the mouse again and peered at the screen, looking over the available options.

"Just don't stay online too long. I have to pay by the minute for my connection."

"Mmm."

Severus continued scrolling through the preview gallery, obviously enthralled. Remus didn't know whether he was more fascinated by the moving pictures themselves or the gay porn, and he wasn't about to peek at Severus' lap to find out. Instead, he did the only thing he could do and still keep his sanity: he fled the room and began hoping with desperate fervor that Severus would let him hear the end of this one day.

After a while, Remus ventured back into the room, peering around the door to see if Severus was still looking at the porn site. He told himself that he didn't want to catch Severus... enjoying it. He was determined to keep his distance and remember his place, which meant he wouldn't be thinking about Severus That Way anymore. Even so, there was a small part of him that was decidedly not repulsed by the possibility of finding Severus leaning back in the desk chair, head thrown back, lips parted, his hand--

No! Remus shook his head to clear it of all images of Severus wanking to gay porn. That way lay madness, not to mention frustration.

When he peeked, however, Severus was no longer at the computer desk. He was sitting by the fire, reading, looking calm and composed as if the porn had no effect on him whatsoever, and Remus felt the little part of him that still held out hope deflate. Obviously, Severus had been fascinated by the idea of moving Muggle pictures, not the content.

Remus walked in and sat down across from Severus, watching him silently for a moment. Severus didn't look up from his book -- didn't acknowledge Remus' presence at all -- and Remus finally cleared his throat.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this to anyone," he said, and Severus glanced up, one eyebrow raised.

"The gay pornography?"

"The fact that I'm queer."

"Ah." Severus closed his book and put it aside, fixing Remus with a sardonic look. "Another one of your little secrets, Lupin? I see starting a new life hasn't changed some things. You still don't divulge the important things, do you. That makes what -- three things you're hiding from these people?"

Remus felt heat rush to his face, but he met Severus' gaze and refused to look away. "I _can't_ reveal two of those things, and you know it, Severus. As for my sexual preferences, they're none of anyone else's business."

"Of course not. Just as it wasn't anyone else's business that you're a werewolf, or that Black was an Animagus."

"That's different," Remus said, trying to tamp down his rising anger. "I wasn't protecting Sirius when I didn't tell anyone about his ability. I was protecting myself -- less than honorable motives for a Gryffindor, I know, but I was desperate. I needed that job. My money was running out, and I hadn't been able to find a job since leaving school because of what I am. I paid for that mistake, though -- you saw to that -- and I do regret it. If I had it to do over again, I would have told Albus the truth from the start."

"Easy for you to say now," Severus sneered.

"I mean it." Remus forced himself to remain calm and still, but he didn't look away from Severus, not for an instant. "Every time I've acted out of self-interest instead of doing what I knew was the right thing, it's been a mistake that I regret. That includes not using my authority as a prefect to rein in James and Sirius when I should have," he added, feeling a little surge of satisfaction when Severus grimaced and clutched the arms of his chair. Let Severus squirm now -- it was his turn.

"I hope you don't expect me to express any regrets. You got what you deserved."

"I'm not going to disagree with you, and frankly, I'd be shocked if you ever _did_ feel a moment's regret for anything you've done," he retorted, rising to his feet and turning to leave, ignoring the way Severus blanched at his response. "Just don't take it upon yourself to let _this_ secret out. If nothing else, you can consider your silence as payment for my help with your transition into Muggle life, plus room and board."

"Why don't you want anyone to know?" Severus called out the question as Remus began to walk away, and he turned back to answer.

"Because it's a non-issue."

Severus let out a derisive snort at that. "You're not making any sense."

Closing his eyes briefly, Remus let out a slow breath. This was one topic he didn't particularly care to discuss with Severus, especially not now, but it was on the table, and he wouldn't shy away from it. "Use your common sense, Severus. I can't have a lover. Muggles don't believe in werewolves, which means I can't tell anyone what I am without great risk, and I can't have a relationship with someone without having to tell them the truth eventually, especially if we live together. Not to mention I would be in violation of the law. Muggles are only allowed to know anything about the wizarding world if they're the immediate family of a wizard or witch, or if they become a part of it themselves -- if they're bitten by a werewolf, for example. My only option for sex is to have one night stands with strangers, which may satisfy my physical needs, but I can take care of those myself. It doesn't satisfy any emotional needs, so I'd rather not bother." He spread his hands and shrugged. "I have no intentions of taking a lover ever again, thus my preferences are a non-issue."

"Is this the part where I'm meant to feel sorry for you?" Severus rose to his feet as well, still sneering. "Wizards and Muggles inter-marry all the time, and you know it, so don't try to fool me with this 'I can't tell anyone' nonsense. You don't _want_ to tell anyone -- that's the real truth! What are you so afraid of, Lupin? Rejection? It's easier to watch those movies and bring yourself off alone night after night than it is to risk telling someone the truth about yourself for once in your life on the off-chance they might not run away screaming?"

"Oh, you're a fine one to talk," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "You're so eaten up with anger and bitterness over twenty year old grudges that you can't even hold a simple conversation with someone without snapping their head off or trying to belittle them. Your walls make Azkaban look like a straw house, so don't you dare lecture me about taking risks."

"If I'm angry and bitter, I have reason to be," Severus hissed. "You and your friends -- the things you did to me--"

"Blah blah blah." Remus lifted both hands and made talky gestures. "I was tired of the song and dance you and Sirius had going five years ago, and I'm even more over it now. I'm sorry I didn't stop them from harassing you, I'm sorry Sirius pulled that stupid stunt during sixth year -- which I did _not_ know about and wouldn't have gone along with if I had, whether you believe it or not -- and I'm sorry I made the mistakes I did the year I taught Defense. I am truly sorry for all of that and more, but I have the rest of my life to live, and I want to be happy, so I've put it behind me and moved on with the intention of not making the same mistakes again. I would suggest that you do the same, but it would require letting go of all your excuses for your intolerable behavior, so I'm not holding my breath."

"At least I'm not a bloody hypocrite!" Severus raged, the vein in his temple beginning to throb. "You stand there and say you don't want to make the same mistakes again in one breath and beg me not to reveal your little secret in the next! You're a hypocrite and a coward. You always have been, and you always will be."

Rather than give in to the hurt and anger Severus' words were causing, Remus stayed calm and smiled, knowing it would infuriate Severus far more than if he too began to yell. "While we're on the subject of hypocrisy and cowardice, do tell me, Severus -- when was the last time you got laid?"

"None of your damned business!"

"I rest my case."

With that, he turned and walked out, leaving Severus to stew in his own vitriol. If Severus broke anything in a fit of anger, he would just have to replace it, but Remus had no intention of continuing the argument. It was pointless; Severus was never going to listen or change, and trying to reason with him was about as useful as banging one's head against a brick wall.

He went upstairs to his bedroom, closed and locked the door, and sat down on the edge of the bed, facing the window as he replayed the conversation in his head. As much as he disliked admitting it, Severus did have a point. If he became romantically involved with a Muggle and entered into a long-term relationship, he could tell his partner about himself and the wizarding world without breaking the law.

Sighing, he scrubbed his face with both hands and then stretched out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. The truth was, he was afraid of getting involved and having to risk rejection if they didn't believe him, or if they couldn't handle knowing what he was. It was indeed easier to remain single and celibate, but what was wrong with that? He had suffered enough hurt, rejection, and prejudice during the almost-forty years he lived among wizards. Hadn't that been enough? Was it really so unreasonable that he might not want to go through it again?

Or was Severus right, and he was nothing more than a hypocrite and a coward?

* * *

"I need some advice." Remus gazed across the table at Annabeth, picking restlessly at a bun and dropping the crumbled bits on his plate.

"All right." She set down her teacup and leaned forward, watching him attentively.

"I've been thinking about coming out," he said, and Annabeth's eyes widened with surprise.

Truthfully, Remus was rather surprised himself. But during the past two days since his argument with Severus, he had given it a great deal of thought, and he saw no reason why he shouldn't be honest about himself, even if he still didn't intend to take a lover.

"Have you met someone?" she asked. "Is that why you're thinking about it?"

"No, there still isn't anyone, and I don't think there will be."

"You aren't sick, are you?" Her eyes filled with concern, and she reached out to touch his arm gently.

It took him a moment to figure out what she meant -- that she was asking if he had AIDS -- and he shook his head quickly. "No, it isn't that. I'm fine." _Well, as fine as one could be when one changes into a bloodthirsty, slavering beast every month_ , he added silently.

She seemed relieved at that, giving his arm a final squeeze before releasing it. "I'm glad. But then why are you suddenly thinking about coming out?"

"I'm tired of hiding things," he said simply. "It's been going on all my life, and I don't see the point anymore."

She nodded, her expression growing somber. "I understand, but it won't be easy. This isn't a big city where alternate lifestyles aren't a rare phenomenon. We're a small community, and not everyone is going to be open-minded and accepting. The people who know you best will be fine, I think, but there will be a backlash against you, once the truth is out."

"Not to mention the disappointment from all the women who have been throwing themselves in my path for the past three years," he replied dryly, and she laughed.

"There is that. I've been the focus of some rather nasty glares since word of our fond good night last Saturday has circulated."

Chuckling, he shook his head. "I don't know. I haven't made up my mind, but it's becoming a strong possibility."

"Well, if you do, you know you have my support, both private and public, and around here, that means something."

"I appreciate it," he said, looking at her with fond affection. "Your support means a great deal to me."

"You have it, dear heart. What are friends for, after all?"

She patted his cheek and then picked up her teacup again, and the conversation turned to other things. Remus still hadn't made up his mind by the time he left her house, but he felt more settled after talking to her about it. He knew there would be repercussions, but he'd dealt with prejudice before; it was hardly a new phenomenon, and, as she said, he thought his friends would be accepting of him, and that was all that really mattered.

He let himself in without calling out a greeting to Severus, simply going straight to the kitchen to scrounge up some dinner. They had been giving each other a wide berth since the argument. Severus was still sulky, and Remus supposed he had ruined any chance they might have had of being friends after some of the things he had said, but he wasn't going to pull punches with Severus any more than Severus had done with him. Still, they needed to resume the lessons, if only because the sooner Severus was prepared to begin his new life, the sooner they could part ways. They would both be a great deal happier then.

To that end, Remus decided perhaps a change of tactics was in order, and after dinner, he went looking for Severus, finding him holed up in the bedroom, reading.

"I've been thinking," he began without any preamble, keeping his tone calm. "I decided you were right. There isn't any real need for me to stay in the closet. I haven't made up my mind completely, but I'm probably going to tell my friends that I'm gay. One person already knows, and she accepts me. I hope the others will, too."

The stunned look on Severus' face was almost comical, and Remus hoped that the admission would smooth things over enough to help Severus get to the point of being able to stand breathing Remus' air again.

"I'm a bit tired tonight," he continued after a moment's pause when Severus didn't say anything. "But we need to do laundry, so I thought we could go to the laundrette tomorrow after I get off work. I'll show you how to work the washing machine and dryer."

There was another pause in which Severus just stared at him, and then Severus nodded slowly. "Very well."

"Right. Well. Don't forget to sort your laundry. If you don't want to put it in the same basket as mine, you can use a couple of the grocery bags until you get one of your own. You know where I put them." He had found that having extra bags around was useful at times, thus he made a point of keeping some on hand.

"Bottom left drawer in the kitchen."

"Yes."

They stared at each other again for another long moment; Severus' expression was inscrutable, and Remus was trying for "neutral, but amiable", thus he had no idea what was being communicated back and forth. Probably nothing, he thought, or the wrong thing. Finally, he nodded and turned away, breaking the unsettling moment and leaving Severus alone once more.

* * *

Teaching Severus how to use the washing machine had gone well enough. Severus had peered around the laundrette when they walked in, taking in the details, while Remus greeted the owner, Chas, who was working that evening. It was small, but clean -- Chas' wife saw to that -- and Chas kept the machines in good repair, so there were rarely any out of order.

The place was empty, and Remus had gone directly to his favorite spot -- the corner where the wall of washers and wall of dryers intersected. He could open the lid of the wash and the door of the dryer, and transfer his clothes from one to the other with just a twist of his upper body, and he liked the speed and efficiency of that.

Severus had watched closely as Remus loaded clothes into the washing machine and added washing powder and fabric softener, explaining the function of each along the way. Other than having to be stopped from loading darks in with whites, Severus had done well; he had even avoided using too much washing powder, measuring out an amount with careful precision.

But once they were finished, Remus was at something of a loss. He didn't feel comfortable sitting down next to Severus in the row of plastic chairs set up in front of the row of washers, but he didn't want to offend Severus by putting a chair between them. Torn, he waffled for a moment, and then decided to solve the problem by hopping up to sit on top of the washing machine instead.

"There are perfectly serviceable chairs."

"Yes, but this vibrates," Remus said, flashing a mischievous grin, and Severus rolled his eyes.

"Member of a pornography website, sitting on vibrating machines -- you're perverted."

"You don't know the half of it."

"Nor will I ever, because you have an acute aversion to revealing anything interesting about yourself."

Remus cocked his head, watching Severus closely as he tried to puzzle out the meaning of that remark. It sounded like Severus was complaining, which implied that he _wanted_ to know interesting things about Remus, but that was impossible. It was utterly ridiculous for Remus to even consider it.

"What -- you want to play Truth or Dare right here in the laundrette?" he asked, cautiously probing to see how far Severus was willing to go with the conversation.

"Truth or Dare?"

"It's a game. I ask 'truth or dare', and you choose which one you want. If you say truth, I get to ask you a question about anything, and you have to answer it. If you say dare, I challenge you to do something, and you have to do it."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll never let you forget that you were too cowardly to answer the question or fulfill the dare. I'll find you on your deathbed to remind you of it."

"Very well."

Remus stared at him blankly. "You're serious?"

Scowling, Severus waved dismissively. "I didn't think to bring a book, so it's either play your stupid little game, or stare at the wall until our laundry is finished," he said, irritation lacing his voice.

It was on the tip of Remus' tongue to say, "We could just talk," but he caught himself before the words slipped out, too intrigued by this turn of events to let Severus off the hook so easily.

"All right, then -- I'll start. Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Severus said almost primly.

Remus considered his options for a moment. There were things he most definitely wanted to know, but he decided to ease into the tougher questions gradually. Still, that didn't mean he couldn't indulge a little prurient curiosity, now did it?

"You said that wasn't the first time you had seen porn. Does that mean you've seen someone else's, or that you have your own?"

"Both."

He waited, but a minute or two passed, and nothing else was forthcoming.

"And?"

"You said I had to answer the question. You didn't say I had to provide explanatory details."

He grimaced and shook his head. Leave it to Severus to wriggle out of having to spill juicy information on a technicality.

"All right, fine. Your turn."

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Is working in a bookshop what you really want to be doing?"

Remus blinked, surprised by the question. "No," he said after a moment's thought. "I'd prefer to be teaching again, but that would require an educational background that I don't have and can't afford to get."

Severus nodded, apparently satisfied.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Do you ever get lonely?" The question popped out before Remus had time to consider the wisdom of asking, and Severus looked nearly as taken aback as he felt.

Severus looked at him for a moment, his expression unreadable, and then he answered quietly, "yes."

Remus' heart constricted, and a flood of sympathy washed over him. He knew how much effort the admission must have cost Severus, and how much lay behind that single word. He didn't need Severus to elaborate this time; his imagination filled in the details quite well on its own.

He wanted to launch himself off the washing machine and into Severus' lap. He wanted to fling his arms around Severus and kiss him and say that he didn't have to be alone anymore, if he would just stay with Remus. But Severus was straight, and Severus didn't like him, much less want him, and he was nothing more than a useful tool, and so Remus merely smiled and said, "your turn" instead.

"Well, then?" Severus gave him a haughty look.

"Truth."

"If you had the opportunity to take the Wolfsbane potion again, would you?"

"Yes." Remus answered without hesitation. "It was wonderful being able to retain my mind and know there was no danger of waking up the next morning to learn I'd turned someone. Or worse."

Severus paused, appearing on the verge of saying something, and finally he spoke. "I could make it for you again."

As stunned as he was by the offer -- and tempted as well -- Remus shook his head. "Not after you leave the wizarding world, you can't," he said, glancing over at Chas, who was engrossed in the daily crossword and not paying attention. Hopefully, Remus thought, the sound of the washing machine covered their conversation. "Apothecaries here don't carry things like shrivelfigs and doxy wings. You won't have access to the same equipment and ingredients. Giving up magic means giving up potions as well."

Severus frowned at this, obviously displeased by the news, but the wash cycle ended, and their conversation was interrupted. He remained oddly quiet, seeming almost mesmerized by the spin and tumble of clothes in the dryer, and when their clothes were ready, he kept his eyes on his own folding table. Remus showed him how to fold shirts and trousers so they wouldn't wrinkle, but he avoided taking his underpants out of the dryer until Remus was distracted by his own folding.

* * *

The expedition to the laundrette went so well that Remus decided another practical lesson might be in order. He had taught Severus about Muggle money early on, and although he had complained about all the different notes and coins, the paper money had been one thing he hadn't been disparaging about. On the contrary, Severus had commented that it was the first sensible thing he'd seen Muggles produce and wondered why wizard currency couldn't be so light and easy to carry.

Remus had made him practice using money, calling out random amounts which Severus had to count out and give him. Severus had caught on quickly, and since their food supplies were running low, he thought Severus might as well have his first experience with grocery shopping.

Severus greeted the idea with less scorn than usual, which Remus took to mean he liked it, and the next day after work, they went. Remus retrieved a trolley and began wheeling it down the first aisle as Severus followed, his head swiveling back and forth as he stared, seeming entranced. He only looked at first, stopping occasionally to peer closely at something bright and colorful that caught his eye, but Remus had to swat his hand to stop him from poking the packaged meat and accidentally tearing the wrapping.

By the time they reached the tea, however, Severus had grown accustomed to the process and didn't hesitate to reach for a tin of chai and a tin of chamomile, grimacing when he noticed a tin of orange pekoe in Remus' hand.

"I don't see how you can drink that stuff."

"I like it." Remus shrugged as he put it in the trolley along with two packages of chocolate biscuits, that being the kind he and Severus both preferred. "You don't have to drink it if you don't want to."

"Believe me, I won't."

"Good -- all the more for me."

"I always knew you had odd taste."

"This coming from Mister 'I want both chamomile and chai'."

"At least neither of those taste like oranges filtered through a dirty sock."

About that time, Remus glanced up and saw Mrs Delancy coming down the aisle, giving them both an odd look. It struck him then that they must sound like a squabbling couple, and he grinned.

"What's so damned funny?" Severus demanded, but Remus waited until Mrs Delancy turned the corner before answering.

"Us," he said. "I won't need to confess anything to anyone. Speculation is going to start up all on its own if we keep acting like old marrieds in public."

Severus rolled his eyes and snorted at that, but Remus could see a faint blush rising in his cheeks as well, and his grin widened.

"I wonder which of us they'll think is the top and which the bottom."

"Shut up."

Remus snickered to himself as they continued their leisurely wandering through the store. He wasn't in any hurry, and he didn't mind letting Severus stop and indulge his curiosity about things along the way, although he did have a twinge of concern over the almost rapturous glint in Severus' eyes while he surveyed the cooking utensil section. Conversation dwindled to silence, but he didn't think Severus was upset over the teasing; he could tell by the absence of the sulk line that invariably appeared between Severus' eyebrows. This time, Severus simply appeared to be absorbed, and it was a surprise when he suddenly spoke up.

"Truth or dare."

Remus stared at him for a moment, not quite believing that he'd revived the silly game, but then he mentally shrugged and decided to play along out of sheer curiosity about where it would take them this time.

"Truth."

"If you had a chance for a relationship, would you take it?"

"It would depend on the person, of course," Remus said. "But if it was someone I was attracted to and cared about, yes." He paused, considering the question further. "It would be interesting, if I did. I've never had a long term relationship, and I've been alone for so long, I'm probably a bit set in my ways. I'd have a lot of adjusting to do."

It occurred to him that, outside of school, he had shared quarters with only two people in his life -- Sirius and Severus -- and he hadn't been romantically or even sexually involved with either of them. Sad, really, he thought. Someone his age should have at least had one relationship under his belt, even if it ended badly.

"Truth or dare," he said, trying to distract himself from that depressing train of thought.

"Truth."

"Same question."

Severus leaned over to examine a boxed pot noodle, but Remus knew it was a cover, buying himself time to answer the question carefully. "I don't know. I'm rather set in my ways myself, and I don't imagine I would be the easiest person in the world to live with."

"You're not so bad," Remus said, offering a little smile. "You're not slobby, and you give me private time, because you need it yourself. I think the other person might be able to overlook your moodiness and perpetual grumbling, especially if the sex was brilliant enough."

 _Twice in one day_ , Remus thought, evilly gleeful at the sight of another blush staining Severus' cheeks.

As they headed towards the front of the store, Remus fished his wallet out of his pocket and handed it to Severus. "You may do the honors. Just put the groceries on the counter and give the checkout assistant the amount she tells you when she's finished ringing everything up."

"Very well." Severus accepted the wallet and took over steering the trolley, pushing it up to the register and beginning to unload it, placing each item carefully on the counter, much to the annoyance of the people in line behind them. "Isn't that a lot?" He turned to Remus with a questioning look when the young woman gave him the total, and Remus smiled innocently.

"We're eating for two now."

Snorting, Severus counted out the notes and handed them over, and then counted the change before giving it to Remus, as if wanting to verify the mathematical competency of the checkout assistant, ignoring the grumblings of those behind them with imperious dignity. Remus simply watched and smiled, enjoying the show. Severus' hauteur was admirable, even entertaining, especially when one wasn't on the receiving end of it.

"That was simple enough," Severus said as they carried the sacks out and began the trek home.

"Well done." Remus smiled encouragingly. "You'll be managing on your own, ready to begin your new life in no time."

"Yes." Severus' expression changed, turning remote and unreadable, his tone unusually neutral. "No time at all."


	3. Chapter 3

Remus watched with growing amusement as Severus peered into the tall glass on the table in front of him, radiating suspicion. "It isn't poisonous, if that's what you're worried about."

"It's fizzing," Severus said, still watching the dark liquid intently.

"It's a cola -- a carbonated beverage. It's supposed to fizz."

"Are you certain Zonko's had nothing to do with the creation of this?"

Remus laughed and shook his head, and Severus gave him a long-suffering look in return. He wasn't certain whether Severus was dead serious when he said things like that, or if he was finally getting a peek at Severus' sense of humor, but he no longer felt self-conscious about laughing. The tension from their argument had slowly abated, and things were more comfortable between them again.

Much of it had to do with the on-going Truth or Dare game, which Remus found both amusing and a bit sad. What did it say about either of them that they couldn't simply open up and talk about things without the artificial threat of ridicule if they refused to answer? He was no better than Severus in that regard, and he knew it. They were both playing along, pretending that the game forced them to speak honestly so they could avoid taking responsibility for what they said and the initiative to say it without being asked.

Still, it was giving him a great deal of insight about Severus, and he found that he was no longer able to hold on to his anger and hurt about the way Severus had treated him. On the contrary, he was beginning to see exactly how much they had in common and how alike they were -- an unsettling concept. It was true, though, and Remus saw no point in denying it. Severus seemed to be relaxing with him as well, and he hoped it meant that they might end up as friends.

"I promise it has nothing to do with Zonko's," he said. "Just try it."

Remus had decided it was time for Severus to learn about fast food -- that he happened to be craving a pizza loaded with extra cheese, sausage, and mushrooms was incidental, of course -- thus he had taken Severus to the local pizzeria for dinner with plans to see if he was interested in seeing a film after. Trying to explain the concept of pizza had been entertaining enough, especially given Severus' look of disgust when he saw the list of toppings and demanded to know if Muggles really put all those things on their food.

Severus picked up the glass at last and raised it to his lips to take a cautious sip -- and then came way too close to doing a spit-take in Remus' direction when the carbonated bubbles flew up his nose and made him cough and sputter.

"How can you drink that stuff?" He stared at Remus, who was sipping his own cola without any ill effects.

"The fizz settles after a while, and you get used to it, anyway," Remus said, closing his eyes for a moment and relishing the hit of caffeine.

Severus picked up the glass again, eying it warily and reminding Remus of nothing so much as a finicky cat as he took another sip, this time without coughing. "It isn't bad," he said with grudging acquiescence, taking another, deeper drink.

 _Thus another addict is born_ , Remus thought, grinning.

* * *

"Bloody fucking HELL!"

At the sound of that enraged cry, Remus dropped his book, leaped to his feet, and raced into the kitchen, praying that Severus hadn't caught anything else on fire. Pausing in the doorway, he looked around, but there were no flames or billows of smoke, only Severus stomping on the floor, snarling, his fists clenched as he slammed his foot down over and over.

Relieved that there was no imminent danger, Remus took in the details of the scene and noticed that the microwave door was open, and that there was a spreading pool of smushed food beneath Severus' foot -- along with blackened aluminum foil.

"I... ehm... I forgot to mention you shouldn't put anything metallic in the microwave, didn't I."

The venomous glare Severus shot him was answer enough.

* * *

"He killed those people!"

Remus glanced around at the people sitting in the dark theatre around them and waved for Severus to lower his voice, but Severus was sitting upright and staring at the screen, appearing outraged.

"Is this what they call entertainment? Murder and explosions?"

"It isn't real, Severus." Remus whispered his explanation, hoping Severus would take the hint, but Severus was apparently too worked up to be quiet, and he was beginning to be the focus of a number of annoyed glares.

"You brought me here and paid good money to subject me to _this_? Don't you think I saw enough carnage during the war?"

Those nearest them were beginning to shush Severus now, and Remus shot them apologetic smiles as he tugged at Severus' sleeve, trying to coax him away. Muttering and still glaring at the screen, Severus allowed himself to be led out, and Remus took him to the lobby, which was empty except for a bored girl behind the refreshment counter.

"Those people in the film aren't really dead -- they're actors. Films are all make-believe, and it's just a story. None of it really happened."

"All films are make-believe?" Severus raised a dubious eyebrow. "What about those films on your computer? Are you trying to tell me those men weren't having sex?"

Remus felt a rush of heat to his face as he stammered his way through the explanation. "Well, no. They were having sex, but they were just acting. They aren't really lovers."

"And those people didn't really die."

"No, they just pretended to die. Films use what Muggles call special effects to make things look real, but they aren't. The ability to create illusions is the only magic that Muggles have."

"Muggle magic. Hmph. Sounds like a contradiction in terms to me." Severus folded his arms across his chest, but he didn't seem incensed any longer.

"Would you like to see the rest of the film?" Remus asked hopefully. He'd been rather caught up in it, and he was curious to see how it ended.

"We might as well." Severus' tone was grudging, but he was quick to head back into the theatre and take his seat again.

This time, he sat back and watched quietly, and Remus darted sidelong glances at him, trying to gauge his reaction now that he knew it was just a story. He seemed to become more and more engrossed, and Remus caught a flash of a smile once during a comedic exchange between the hero and his trusted partner.

Amazing, he thought, the difference one little expression could make. For a moment, Severus had looked relaxed, as if he were truly enjoying himself, and Remus felt an inexplicable desire to find ways of making Severus smile more often. Especially if that quick, barely-there smile appeared because of him...

Oh, no.

He glanced over at Severus again, studying his profile, noting how different Severus looked when he forgot himself. He felt as if he was being given a peek behind the walls, and he liked what he saw.

Oh, no no no.

No, he could not -- _would_ not -- fall in love with Severus Snape. It was mad, it was foolish, it was certain to lead to pain and heartbreak, and he knew better than to do something so utterly...

Severus smiled again, a brief flicker of amusement, and Remus felt his heart wrench free of his chest and wing its way over into Severus' hands.

... _Oh, bloody hell_ , he thought. _Too late._

* * *

Remus awoke lying face down on a rug, his entire body aching from the effects of the transformation. His muscles felt strained, and his joints ached; it would be a while before the pain ebbed, but he had some ointment that helped. The only problem was, it was nowhere nearby at the moment. He was still locked in the guest bedroom, and the rug was tempting him to remain collapsed on top of it in spite of being a bit scratchy and smelling of wolf, which made him wonder if he'd been marking his territory.

He should get up, he knew. Severus had never made breakfast -- or any meal -- by himself, and Remus was concerned about how well Severus had managed being in the same house as a feral werewolf, given that as far as Remus knew, he hadn't been near one since their sixth year.

He'd shown Severus the sturdy locks on the door, which he had replaced with a heavier one that could resist the weight of a werewolf being thrown at it, hoping to reassure him that there was little chance of Remus escaping. There hadn't been anything for Severus to do; Remus had been managing the routine on his own for three years, and he had even suggested that Severus might stay elsewhere for the night, if the idea of being there bothered him. Severus had haughtily informed him that he had no intention of going anywhere, as he had a saved game of chess waiting for him on the computer which he felt certain he was close to winning.

And so shortly before moonrise, Remus had gone upstairs to lock himself in, undress, and wait for the inevitable. He had stopped to bid Severus good night, but Severus had been engrossed in his game, his brow furrowed with concentration, and had merely grunted a response.

He wondered if he had made a lot of noise during the night, or if Severus had been able to sleep at all. If not, Severus could always take a nap. Remus wanted to do the same thing himself, but he had to get up. His body would only ache more from lying on the hard floor for an extended period of time, and there was breakfast to see to, and he needed to clean up and get dressed, and oh, _bugger_ , but that seemed like such a lot of work...

With a groan, he pushed himself to his hands and knees and remained there for a moment, panting as he waited for his head to clear after exerting the effort. Slowly, he rose to his feet and stumbled over to the pile of clothes by the door, snagging his jeans and leaning his shoulder against the wall as he pulled them on and buttoned them up. Bending over made him dizzy, so he decided to leave the rest of his clothes where they were. He would come back for them later, when he felt better, and he was covered up enough to satisfy his own modesty now.

He unlocked the door and opened it -- and reeled back in surprise when he found Severus standing there, a blanket in hand. Before he could get his brain-to-mouth function working well enough to ask what he was doing there, Severus threw the blanket around him and anchored one arm around his waist, helping him to the bedroom. Too stunned to protest, Remus let himself be led, and to his further astonishment, Severus bundled him -- not ungently -- into bed once they were there.

"Go to sleep, Lupin," Severus said brusquely as Remus made a half-hearted attempt to get up. "I can manage toast and eggs on my own. I don't need you to do it for me, and you're worse than useless in this state anyway."

A hundred objections crowded Remus' mind, but all that came out of his mouth was a yawn, and he gave up, sinking into the wonderful soft pillow and letting sleep claim him.

The afternoon sun was casting long shadows on the floor as it poured through the windows when Remus woke up again. Disoriented at first, he wondered how he came to be curled up in his own bed, but then memory came flooding back, and he remembered Severus helping him.

Severus. Helping him.

To say he hadn't been expecting that was something of an understatement, but he thought perhaps it was Severus' way of repaying him for his help. There couldn't be any other reason for it. Could there? No. No, he wouldn't let himself get his hopes up like that, not again.

Rolling over, he squinted at the clock on his bedside table and then threw back the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed, sitting still for a moment before pushing himself upright. He felt better than he had earlier, but he was still a little sore, still a little tired. It generally took most of the day to recover, but considering his body had been reshaped twice in less than twelve hours, he understood why, even if he didn't like it.

Moving slowly and carefully like an old man, he gathered up some clean clothes and went to clean up. He felt better after brushing his teeth and hair, taking a shower and rubbing a bit of ointment into his joints and muscles -- it was meant to soothe the ache of arthritis, but he found it worked just as well for werewolves suffering from post-transformation soreness -- but he didn't bother to shave. He was starting to feel a little weak, probably because he hadn't eaten since dinner the night before, and he didn't want to push himself much longer.

He made it all the way downstairs and into the parlor before he had to rest, dropping heavily onto the couch and sprawling bonelessly. Across the room, Severus looked up from the computer screen.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"I'm on my way to the kitchen," Remus said, and Severus waved at him to remain where he was and stood up himself.

"I'll do it. I don't want to have to clean up the mess when you collapse and hit your head on the counter. Do you want something light or substantial?"

"Substantial," he said, grateful for Severus' help, no matter the reason for it.

"Bangers and mash? I have leftovers from lunch."

"That would be perfect."

With a sigh, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes; he must have dozed off, because it seemed like only seconds had passed before Severus returned and placed a tray on his lap. The scent of sausages wafted up, and he opened his eyes, his mouth already watering.

"Thank you," he said, hoping Severus could tell how heartfelt his thanks were, but Severus merely grunted and returned to the computer, and Remus began to eat to the sounds of soft beeps and Severus' muttered curses.

"How was it for you last night?" he asked, once the edge of hunger had been blunted.

"Hhm?" Severus glanced up, distracted, and then frowned slightly. "Oh. It was fine. You finally stopped howling a little after midnight, and I was able to get to sleep."

"Good." Remus nodded and watched Severus for a moment, wondering how much of the truth he would get if he simply asked what he wanted to know. In the end, though, he decided to fall back on their game. "Truth or dare."

Severus looked surprised at that, but he answered. "Truth."

"Were you afraid?"

A long silence greeted that question, and Severus gazed down at the keyboard before answering. "At first, yes. I heard the noises. Growling, snarling, howling. I remembered that night. I remembered seeing you rushing at me. Your teeth. I even remember what went through my mind before Potter yanked me out."

"What was that?"

"'I'm going to die, and I haven't had sex yet'." He glanced at Remus, scowling a little as if to cover embarrassment. "I was sixteen," he added.

Remus nodded, not tempted to laugh in the slightest; he was too filled with sympathy and remorse for the terror Severus must have gone through. "You said at first. Did it get better?"

"Yes. I realized that the door was secure, and that I was safe. I was fine after that." He paused and then added, "In an odd way, I believe last night did a little to help ease the memories."

"I wouldn't have let it happen in the first place if I'd known," Remus said quietly. It wasn't the first time, but perhaps if he said it often enough, Severus would eventually believe him.

"I know."

Blinking, Remus stared at him, startled by the response, and Severus waved irritably.

"You stood to gain nothing by it," he continued. "You could have suffered serious consequences."

"It isn't just that," Remus said. "It was wrong, and I wouldn't have agreed to put you or anyone else through that kind of terror and risk, not for any reason. Besides that, I've never bitten anyone, and I've never killed, and that's one thing that makes my condition a little easier to live with."

Their gazes met and held, and after a time, Severus glanced away. "You still look tired," he said. "Perhaps you should rest some more."

"I don't want to rest." Remus finished off his last sausage and put the tray aside. "It's boring." He hesitated and then asked, "Will you read to me?"

Severus raised an eyebrow at him, and Remus smiled in what he hoped was a winning manner, earning a snort in response.

"Very well. What do you want me to read?"

As Severus saved and quit his game and turned off the computer, Remus sat up and reached for a paperback novel on the coffee table; it was one of his favorites, one that he was re-reading, and the thought of hearing Severus read it to him was an unexpected but most welcome pleasure. Severus got up and relocated to a chair closer to the couch, and Remus handed him the book.

"You can start where I have it bookmarked. I left off at the end of the chapter."

Remus stretched out on the couch, settling in with a sigh of contentment as Severus opened the book and began to read.

"Chapter twenty-one. Presentiments are strange things, and so are sympathies; and so are signs: and the three combined make one mystery to which humanity has not yet found the key. I never laughed at presentiments in my life; because I have had strange ones of my own. Sympathies, I believe, exist: (for instance, between far-distant, long-absent, wholly estranged relatives; asserting, notwithstanding their alienation, the unity of the source to which each traces his origin) whose workings baffle mortal comprehension. And signs, for aught we know, may be but the sympathies of Nature with man."

Severus' voice was smooth and deep and beautiful, lulling Remus to drowsiness in spite of his best intention to stay awake and listen. He felt as if he could listen to Severus speak for hours, even if he did nothing but read the telephone directory, and to hear him read words that Remus was already fond of only served to double his pleasure in listening. But between Severus' soothing voice, the pleasant rise and fall in cadence, and Remus' own fatigue, he didn't stand a chance. He was asleep again before the chapter ended, a slight smile lingering at the corners of his mouth even after he had drifted off.

* * *

"I thought you severed your ties to the wizarding world."

Remus hit the pause button on his CD player and glanced up, giving Severus a questioning look. The Carpenters CD he had ordered from Amazon (which he had been putting off showing to Severus, not only because of what had happened last time with the porn site, but also because he wasn't yet ready to explain the concept of credit cards and online shopping to Severus yet) had arrived in the post. He was listening to it, trying to decide which track would be best -- or in this case, worst -- for torturing Lydia.

"Hhm? I did. You know that."

"Then why are you listening to a banshee wailing?"

Remus laughed and handed Severus the CD jewelcase. "I'm trying to find a suitable song to use in retaliation for my co-worker playing boy band music all the time."

Severus examined the case and gave it back. "So you've chosen this? I underestimated your capability for cruelty. Well done."

"Thank you." Remus ejected the CD and returned it to the case, having decided nothing could really top the soulfully earnest horror that was 'You Light Up My Life'. "Believe me, this isn't what I would choose to listen to."

"What is, then? I don't believe you've played any music since I've been here."

"No, I wasn't sure if your musical tastes would match mine, so I thought it best to keep things quiet."

"As long as you don't play anything like that," Severus pointed to the Carpenters CD, "we'll be fine."

"All right, then." Remus smiled, pleased. He had thought he wouldn't be able to listen to any music until Severus left, since he didn't want to subject his guest to his musical tastes if they weren't compatible, but surely he could find something in his collection that Severus could tolerate, if not actually like. "Let's try some classical music, shall we? We'll start with Mozart. I think you might like him." He paused, considering, and then he beckoned for Severus to move closer. "Here -- I'll show you how to do this yourself."

He glanced over his CD tower until he found the CD he wanted, pulled it out, and opened the case, angling it so Severus could see it. "This is called a compact disc, CD for short. It has music on."

Severus leaned forward and peered at it. "They got music on this thing? How?"

"I don't really know," Remus admitted. "Something to do with electricity and recording devices, like a camera except it captures sound. Anyway, here -- take it. The side with the writing is the top. Hold it by the edges so you don't get the bottom all smudgy, because that's where the music is."

Severus removed the CD from the case, lifting it carefully and holding it as Remus had instructed, lifting it up to the light and watching the colors shift.

"Now this is a CD player," Remus continued. "This button opens the drawer, so just press it and put the CD in, bottom side down."

Severus jabbed the button with his forefinger and, after checking to make certain he had the right side up, placed the CD in the drawer.

"Good. Now hit the button again to close it, and here is the play button. It has a wee sideways triangle pointing right. See?"

"Yes, yes, I see it."

Two more quick jabs, and _Don Giovanni_ began to play, and Severus looked exceptionally pleased with himself.

"Every CD has different music?" he asked, and Remus nodded, gesturing to the CD tower.

"I don't mind if you listen to them," Remus said. "You can get an idea of what you might like that way."

With that, he retrieved his book and settled on one end of the couch, resting his back against the arm and using his bent knees as a prop for the book while he read. After a moment of examining the CD player and then just listening, Severus gave a little grunt of satisfaction and claimed the other end of the couch, mirroring Remus' position as he immersed himself in his own book.

It was a Stephen King novel about werewolves, something Remus had given him to read after he asked how Muggles viewed magic and the supernatural; Remus had lost count of the number of times Severus had snorted derisively while reading after about twenty. Remus had plans to introduce him to Clive Barker and Neil Gaiman, because he liked both of them, and to the old black and while horror films, if only to see if the sight of the wolfman walking around on two legs and fully dressed was enough to make Severus laugh out loud.

There was quite a lot Remus wanted to show Severus and to do with him, not because it was necessary to Severus' Muggle education, but because he wanted to witness Severus' reaction to it. He wanted to share the wonder and amusement of Severus' first time in this new world -- all of it. He was, he realized, enjoying being Severus' guide. Not only had he fallen in love, but he had started to _like_ Severus as well. There was still so much to see and do, and he wondered how long he could plausibly keep Severus with him.

All these thoughts flowed through his mind as he peeked over the top of his book at Severus, watching the little furrow of concentration between his eyes, the fleeting quirk of his lips that served as his version of a smile. Caught up in his thoughts, Remus didn't consciously realize he had stretched his leg out until he felt a jolt, the feel of his foot brushing against Severus' searing him even through the fabric of their socks.

His first instinct was to jerk his foot away, but he quelled it, not wanting to draw attention to the touch since Severus seemed utterly engrossed and hadn't reacted. Hesitantly, he pressed the side of his foot against Severus', not firmly, just enough to feel the warmth, and he left it there, burying his nose in his book again. But his entire focus was on those scant inches of contact connecting him, however tenuously, to the man he loved.

After a while, Remus was finally able to concentrate on his book, and they sat and read while the music of Mozart played in the background. It was, he thought, one of if not the most peaceful and perfect moments of his life, made even better by Severus not recoiling from the contact. He remembered how Severus had knocked his hand away during the bicycle riding lesson, and he wondered what had changed since then, or if perhaps nothing had changed, and Severus had pushed him away out of pride, not disgust.

"Do we have any chocolate biscuits left?"

The question jarred Remus out of his reverie, and he jumped a little, startled.

"Ehm. No, I think we ate the last of them yesterday. Why?"

"I want something sweet."

Remus thought for a moment, mentally running through their supplies. "I think we're out unless you want to make something."

"Like what?"

"Well." Remus closed his book as he considered the options. "I do have a good recipe for brownies. That would be relatively quick and easy to make."

"Very well."

Once they were in the kitchen, Remus fished the recipe -- written down for him on an index card by Annabeth -- out of his battered copy of _Cooking for Dummies_ and gave it to Severus, letting him take over while Remus hopped up on the counter to watch. All went well at first; Severus measured out the ingredients with the same precision and care that he used when brewing a potion, and he added an extra square of baking chocolate, which Remus certainly wasn't going to protest.

When it came time to mix everything, however, Severus began stirring by hand, and Remus stopped him, pulling out his electric mixer for Severus to use instead. Remus fitted the blades into the slot and plugged the mixer in, and then he showed Severus how to turn it on and adjust the speed before handing it over.

Severus turned it on immediately.

"No -- turn it on _after_ \-- fuck!"

Remus hit the floor, diving beneath the table just as a spray of brown goo flew everywhere, but mostly onto Severus, splattering him from the waist up. Severus shut off the mixer and turned around just as Remus scrambled to his feet to survey the mess, and Remus couldn't help it -- he burst out laughing at the sight of Severus covered in oozing globs of batter.

"You think this is funny, do you?" Severus' voice was low and dangerous, and Remus tried to stop laughing. The last thing he wanted to do was offend Severus or worse, make him feel like this was one of those pranks he had suffered in school. But then a fat blob of brownie batter dripped off Severus' nose, and that set him off all over again.

"I'm s-sorry -- I tried to warn you--" He managed to get the words out, but Severus looked distinctly unamused.

"Laugh at me, will you?" Severus snarled. "You'll pay for that!"

And suddenly, Severus reached into the bowl, scooped up a huge handful of batter, and advanced on Remus.

"No -- Severus, you wouldn't!" Remus stared at him, wide-eyed, as he began backing away.

"Oh, wouldn't I." Severus' voice was a silky purr now, but his smile was pure evil.

Intent on avoiding the assault, Remus ignored which way was he going, and he made a grave tactical error: he allowed Severus to maneuver him away from the door. Somehow, he found himself flattened against the fridge, and Severus moved in, standing not quite close enough for his chest to brush against Remus', but more than close enough for Remus to feel the heat of his body. He gazed up at Severus, wanting nothing more than to grab Severus' face in his hands and lick away the batter; he parted his lips as he tried to draw in more air, desire stealing his breath, and he had a feeling there was a hunger in his eyes that had nothing to do with brownies.

The room was silent except for the sound of their breathing and the splat of batter as it dripped from Severus' upraised hand onto the floor, and to Remus, it felt almost like one of those moments. The kind of stillness and heightened awareness that occurred right before a kiss, when words were no longer needed, and all that remained was to close the last little bit of distance. They were close -- so close -- and he could feel Severus' breath on his cheek, could feel arousal coiling in his belly.

And then Severus smacked Remus' forehead, the batter hitting him with a moist splat; he dragged his hand down Remus' face, coating it with cold goo, and Remus squawked a protest, squirming too late to get free. Wiping his eyes, he looked up at Severus, who was smiling smugly, and he laughed and darted his tongue out to taste the batter in lieu of tasting Severus.

"Severus, you're a cruel bastard," he said, still chuckling as he went to the sink to rinse the gunk off his face and out of his hair.

"Nonsense. You had it coming." Severus followed him to the sink and waited for his turn at the tap.

"You're just jealous because I ducked in time."

"Considering it's your fault that I still haven't satisfied my sweet tooth thanks to you not telling me to put the mixer in before turning it on, I feel no remorse."

Remus practically had to bite his tongue in half to keep from offering to let Severus satisfy his sweet tooth in a way that involved a basting brush, naked skin, and the rest of the batter.

"Well, we could make another batch," he suggested instead, hiding his flushed face in a dishtowel and pretending to dry it as he tried to ignore the naughty mental images his mind was throwing at him.

They did, and the brownies were very good, but Remus couldn't help but think that batter-covered Severus would have been even better.

* * *

By unspoken negotiation and agreement, they had fallen into a workable morning routine over the past few weeks that accomodated both of them quite nicely. Severus was the non-morning person; he was slow to wake, and he preferred not to be forced into interaction for at least half an hour after he got up. Remus, on the other hand, was awake and ready to move as soon as his feet hit the floor on the mornings he had to get up for work.

Gradually, a pattern developed as they learnt about each other's preferences. Severus came downstairs in his pajamas and dressing gown and woke up Remus, and then he disappeared into the kitchen to sit at the table alone, drink a cup of tea, and read the morning paper until he was fully awake.

Meanwhile, Remus tidied up the couch and went upstairs to avail himself of the bathroom and to dress in the privacy of the bedroom. By the time he was clean and dressed, Severus was ready to perform his own morning ablutions, and they traded places: Remus went to the kitchen to make breakfast while Severus went upstairs. It was efficient, it allowed them both privacy, and Remus didn't have to deal with Severus' morning grumps -- an excellent system for all involved, and one that Remus had grown accustomed to adhering to.

Which was why he was so startled when, in the middle of his dancing and singing of "Anarchy in the UK" at top volume (as it was meant to be sung, in his opinion) around the bedroom as he got dressed, he whirled around to see Severus standing in the doorway, smirking at him.

It was bad enough, he thought, having been caught singing and dancing, although he wouldn't have minded that so much -- he always sang and danced around when he was in a good mood -- except that he was wearing nothing but a towel, having just stepped out of the shower. Hastily, he clutched the towel to secure it around his waist and make certain it wasn't going anywhere, his face burning.

"Do you take requests?" Severus asked, still smirking.

"I thought you were downstairs."

"I was, but apparently, all the fun is going on up here."

"You're welcome to join in if you know the words."

Remus moved to the wardrobe, still clutching his towel tightly in one hand as he pulled out a pair of clean jeans and a shirt. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if there was something Severus wanted, or if he had simply thought Remus ought to be finished dressing by now when suddenly he felt a light touch on his shoulder. The barest stroking of fingertips against his skin.

Tracing the scar.

His breath caught and held, and he went very still. Not only was this the first time he could remember Severus ever touching him voluntarily, but he was touching _there_ , of all places. No one touched there, if they could avoid it.

"This is where it bit you."

It wasn't a question, but Remus nodded anyway. He barely remembered the attack; he had been six years old, and it had happened so fast. All he could remember clearly was being terrified by the werewolf's snarl as it lunged at him, the stench of its hot breath before it bit, the feel of its coarse fur as he tried to push it away. He remembered screaming, but the pain of the bite as the werewolf closed its teeth on his shoulder was nothing more than a ghost-memory. He thought the werewolf had probably been going for his throat, but perhaps he turned, or it miscalculated, but whatever the reason, it had missed, and he had lived with only the occasional stiffness and an ache in his shoulder that alerted him to changes in the weather -- and incurable lycanthropy, of course.

Severus stood behind him, close enough that he could feel the heat of Severus' body, and ran his fingers along the slightly raised scar tissue. Remus closed his eyes, his breathing shallow and rapid. He didn't know if Severus understood how deeply the gesture was affecting him, or if he was merely being studied with the clinical detachment of a scholar with a new specimen, but it meant something to him that Severus was not ignoring the scar, not ignoring what he was.

"You were lucky," Severus said quietly.

Remus opened his eyes and smiled wryly. "Some might disagree with you on that point."

"Would you?"

"No." Remus shook his head. "I've struggled with many obstacles over the course of my life, but I don't wish that I had died rather than become a werewolf. I ended up here, after all, and I'm happy." He meant so much more than simply with his home and his new life -- he meant with Severus, too, even if Severus never returned his feelings.

He felt Severus' fingers linger on his shoulder for a moment longer, and then Severus let his hand fall to his side again, and Remus mourned the loss of the touch. To his surprise, Severus didn't step back, and Remus was in no hurry to move either. He wished he had the right to lean back against Severus, to feel Severus' arms slide around his waist, to let the towel fall to the floor and coax Severus into the unmade bed.

In the silent room, he could hear Severus' breathing; it was as erratic as his own, and his eyes went wide at the realization. Severus was... not unaffected by the proximity.

Well, _that_ was certainly interesting.

Memories crowded Remus' mind: Severus' interest in gay pornography, the question about relationships in the grocery store, the way he had helped Remus after the transformation, letting Remus touch his foot on the couch, the tense moment before he smeared batter on Remus' face, and even his refusal to let Remus touch him at first seemed to take on a whole new meaning now. The pieces fell into place, and in that moment, Remus became certain that Severus was attracted to him. Perhaps it wasn't love yet, but there was _something_ there, and it could turn into love with the proper encouragement.

In short, Remus decided, it was time to start courting Severus.

He turned and smiled up at Severus. "Was there something you wanted?" he asked, deliberately making his voice low and suggestive, and he was pleased to notice Severus' breath catch ever so slightly.

"I came to see about this afternoon. You said you were getting a haircut after work."

"I am, yes." Remus tilted his head, giving Severus a quizzical look. "Would you like to come along?"

"Yes. I don't want a haircut. I'm simply curious. I've never been in a Muggle barbershop."

"Of course. If you want to meet me after work, we can go together."

"Very well." Severus paused and then arched a haughty eyebrow at Remus. "You'd best hurry and get dressed. You'll be late."

Remus finished gathering up his clothes and moved to dump them on the bed. "I'm not wearing anything under this towel, Severus."

Severus rolled his eyes and snorted. "If you've got anything under there I've never seen before, Lupin, then by all means, let's have a look."

It was Remus' turn to raise an eyebrow at that, and he gazed Severus silently for a moment, speculating. "Truth or dare," he said at last.

"Truth."

"Do you like women?"

"Of course I like women," Severus replied in a nonchalant tone. "Despite all appearances to the contrary, Minerva and I have always got on quite well, for example."

"No, I meant do you prefer women sexually?"

A smirk bloomed anew on Severus' face. "Ah ah ah -- one question per round, Lupin, and it's not your turn anymore."

With that, he turned and swept out of the room, leaving Remus standing there alone in his towel and vastly amused as he watched Severus leave.

Damned infuriating bastard. No wonder Remus loved him madly.

* * *

"Tch. Look at those split ends." Phil caught a lock of Severus' hair between his first two fingers and examined it with a critical eye. "When's the last time you had your hair cut?"

Severus raised an imperious eyebrow at the barber, but Phil was a known master of his art, possessed of a healthy dose of confidence; he wasn't about to be intimidated by Severus' attitude. Even though Remus was the one with an appointment, Phil had bypassed him and gone straight to Severus to pronounce his verdict. Sensing the potential amusement level of this encounter, Remus had stepped back to watch and enjoy, and he wasn't disappointed.

"A while -- not that it's any of your concern," Severus retorted haughtily. "I'm here with him, not for myself."

"Pity." Phil gave a disdainful sniff. "You need the work done. Those ends are ragged and unhealthy, and I've got something to cut down all that natural oiliness, but if you don't care how you look..." He shrugged insouciantly.

Severus cut a sidelong look at Remus and then glared at Phil. "I didn't say that."

"It's a slow afternoon. I can fit you in after him, if you like," Phil said, his tone skirting the edges of condescension, as if he were doing Severus a tremendous favor at great personal expense.

"Yes, yes, all right." Severus retreated to the waiting area and snatched up a magazine, immediately burying his nose in it. Remus considered pointing out that Severus was "engrossed" in a maternity magazine, but he thought better of it since he considered himself too young to die.

As Phil worked the shampoo into his hair, Remus sighed with contentment and relaxed in the chair; getting his hair cut was one of his little indulgences for a number of reasons, not the least of which being that he enjoyed the process. Phil's fingers were strong and firm as he massaged Remus' scalp beneath the warm water, and Remus felt as if his cares were flowing down the drain along with the sudsy lather. There was, he thought, nothing quite like attention to one's head and hair, and one day, he hoped to bestow such attention on Severus.

Once he was settled in the chair, Phil fixed him with a questioning look in the mirror.

"What'll it be today, then?"

"The usual, I think." Remus studied his reflection for a moment, debating on whether he wanted to try a new style, but he decided against it. "Just a trim."

Phil chuckled as he reached for his comb and scissors. "Not much of a risk taker, are you. Sure you don't want to do something about this grey? It looks like more has come in since the last time."

"I know whom to blame for _that,_ " Remus said, giving Severus a Look, and Severus popped his head up over the top of the magazine.

"What?" He scowled at Remus. "What are you trying to foist off on me now?"

"My grey hair. Phil says I've got more since the last time I had a haircut." He paused and then added, "He thinks I should color it."

"Absolutely not!" Severus sat up straight, radiating indignation. "There is nothing wrong with grey hair. It's distinguished."

Remus grinned at him. "Are you saying you think I look distinguished?"

Severus dove behind his magazine again, but not before Remus caught a glimpse of pink staining his cheeks. "I said nothing of the kind. I merely pointed out that grey hair in and of itself is distinguished."

Remus smirked -- and then glanced in the mirror to see Phil smirking at _him_.

"You won't be coloring it, then?" Phil asked, his tone innocent, and it was Remus' turn to flush, his smugness dissipating rapidly.

"Er. No. I think not."

Twenty minutes later, it was Severus' turn; unlike Remus, he wasn't at all relaxed as he sat down in front of the sink. His body was stiff, and he clutched the arms of the chair as if he were undergoing torture.

"Relax, Severus." Remus leaned on his shoulder against the wall nearby. "He isn't going to hurt you."

"I don't like strangers touching me," Severus muttered.

"You do it, then." Phil stepped aside and gestured for Remus to take his place, and Remus stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded, before giving him a searching, almost suspicious look.

Did Phil know somehow? Could he sense the attraction -- the emotion -- between the two of them? He didn't think Phil was gay himself; he'd been married once, although that didn't necessarily mean anything. Perhaps he had a sensitive gay-dar. If he did suspect, he didn't seem bothered by it. Or perhaps Remus was reading too much into it, and Phil only had the comfort of his new client in mind.

"I don't -- I mean, I've never --" Remus shrugged and spread his hands, pushing himself away from the wall, but not moving any closer to the sink. It wasn't that he didn't want to -- the idea of sharing such an intimacy as washing Severus' hair was a pleasurable one -- but it wasn't something he had ever done before.

"No special trick to it," Phil replied, tossing a plastic bottle of shampoo to him, and he caught it reflexively. "Wet, lather, rub it in good and proper, and rinse."

Severus, who had been sitting very quietly during this exchange, was revealing nothing away with his expression, and Remus approached him cautiously, clutching the shampoo bottle in both hands.

"Would you rather I did it?" he asked, and Severus gave a terse nod.

Phil turned on the water for him, testing to make sure it wasn't too hot. "Don't use a light touch unless he can't take it. You've got a head like a rock--"

Severus snickered, and Remus shot him a glare.

"--but some people have sensitive scalps and can't take pressure and pulling like you can. I'm sure he'll let you know if it hurts," Phil added, and it was Remus who snickered that time.

But all amusement vanished as Severus leaned back in the chair, waiting for Remus to begin, and it hit Remus that he was about to do something he'd been fantasizing about only a few minutes before. He put down the shampoo, wet his hands and picked up the sprayer, glancing down at Severus before he began. Severus' eyes were closed, and he wasn't clutching the chair arms anymore; he didn't quite seem relaxed, but neither was he so obviously tense, and Remus took that as a good sign. He pressed the button on the sprayer and began to wet Severus' hair thoroughly, smoothing it back from his face with slow, tender gestures before picking up the bottle again.

"That stuff's brilliant for extra oily hair," Phil said. "You can shampoo as often as you need to without drying your hair out. Has a conditioner built in, too."

Replacing the sprayer, Remus flipped open the bottle cap. "How much should I use?"

"A good dollop -- there, that's enough."

Remus stopped squeezing the bottle and put it aside, rubbing his palms together to coat them evenly with shampoo. Remembering Phil's technique, Remus tried to imitate it, working the shampoo into Severus' hair. He combed his fingers through it, careful not to tug, and after a moment, he thought he heard a quiet sigh. Even if he had only imagined the sound, however, there was no denying that Severus was beginning to relax under his ministrations; a glance at Severus showed that the little frown line between his eyes had smoothed out, and his face appeared less taut and pinched with tension.

As he bent over Severus, the heat from the water mingled with the smell of the shampoo and rose up to meet him, and he breathed deeply of the scented steam. He massaged Severus' scalp firmly, half-expecting a protest, but there was none; Severus seemed to like it as much as he did, and he kept going for a bit longer than was necessary, not only to prolong Severus' pleasure, but also his own in sharing such an intimacy. The combination of the hot water and Severus' clean hair flowing between his fingers was a sensual delight, and he continued stroking and combing gently, shielding Severus' eyes as he rinsed out the lather, finally squeezing the excess water from the ends. If they had been alone, he might have gone on much longer, but they weren't, and so he accepted Phil's offer of a towel to dry his hands as he stepped back and let Phil take over again.

"I don't want it cut," Severus announced once he was settled in the chair. "Only trimmed. I like it long, and I want to keep it that way."

"No adventure in your souls, either of you," Phil grumbled good-naturedly as he began to comb and snip, and Remus and Severus shared a knowing look in the mirror. They had faced more than their share of adventure over the course of two wars, of a kind that Phil likely wouldn't believe in even if they told him. Compared to battling an evil Dark Wizard, taking a chance on a new hairstyle was small potatoes -- but they still didn't want to do it.

When Phil was finished, Severus looked much the same, but not quite. His hair was obviously not as straggly and lank as it had been; it looked healthier and shinier, and Remus pretended not to notice that Severus bought a bottle of the shampoo Phil had recommended, because Severus was trying to be casual about it. After paying, they left the shop and began the long walk home; Remus waited until they were beyond the outskirts of town to reach out and run his fingers through Severus' hair. Severus shot him a startled look, but didn't protest.

"It looks nice," he said, combing through it gently.

"Thank you," Severus replied gruffly.

He continued to stroke it for a moment longer, enjoying the softness beneath his palm, and then gave the back of Severus' neck a little squeeze before letting his hand fall to his side again. Severus didn't comment, but after another minute or so, Remus noticed that their shoulders and hands seemed to be brushing far more often as they walked, and he smiled when he realized that Severus had moved closer to him.

They walked along in companionable silence for a while, and then suddenly, Severus spoke up. "Truth or dare."

"Truth," Remus said, wondering what Severus wanted to know.

"Are you tired of sleeping on the couch?"

Remus glanced at him, even more curious than before. That question could mean a number of things: was Remus ready for Severus to leave so he could have his bed back? was Remus ready for Severus to leave, period? was Remus interested in sharing a bed instead of having to sleep on the couch?

"A little, yes," he admitted. "It isn't as comfortable as sleeping in my own bed. But I'm not in any hurry to stop sleeping on the couch if stopping means you leave. I like having you here."

"You do?" Severus seemed genuinely surprised by that, and Remus nodded, feeling a little shy about making the admission, but he didn't want to avoid the truth if it meant the difference between Severus going and staying.

"Yes, I do. I think we've smoothed out a lot of the rough spots, and you're very good company. I want you to stay as long as you like." _The rest of our lives perhaps?_ he thought, but didn't quite dare say it aloud.

"I should try to find employment soon," Severus said, keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead. "I'm weary of being idle, and if I'm to stay longer, I should contribute to the household expenses."

"You'll need those documents I told you about. We'll have to return in order to create them."

"The sooner, the better," he replied, an edge creeping into his voice as if the mere thought of the world he had left behind brought back all the old anger and bitterness. "Perhaps this weekend?"

"Certainly." Remus watched him for a moment. "Does this mean you've decided?"

"Yes." Severus nodded firmly, glancing over at Remus at last. "I'm leaving it all behind."

Remus wasn't certain what to say. "Congratulations" seemed too flippant, considering he knew the enormity of that decision and how difficult it was to take the leap and commit to leaving everything familiar behind, and so he reached out and patted Severus' shoulder instead, giving it a comforting squeeze. They fell into silence again until, several minutes later, Severus cleared his throat.

"I could take a turn on the couch for a while." He hesitated a moment before adding, sounding almost uncertain, "Or we could share the bed. There is room enough for both of us, as long as you don't kick or hog the covers."

Inside, Remus' heart was turning flips, his stomach was tying itself in knots, and if he were a more demonstrative man, he would be tempted to start cartwheeling down the path, but outwardly, he only smiled. "You can let me know in the morning."


	4. Chapter 4

Saturday morning dawned bright and clear, and even without the benefit of the alarm clock, Remus woke up before Severus did. They had agreed not to set it the night before, having decided that there wasn't any pressing need to get up early and rush off to London when they had all day and could stay overnight if necessary. Without the summons of a clock, Severus' natural tendency was, apparently, to sleep in, but Remus wasn't about to complain.

It was the third morning he had woken up beside Severus, and each time had brought them a little closer -- literally. The first night had been awkward, to say the least. They had gone upstairs at the same time, which brought with it all the uncomfortable unspoken questions of who was going to undress first and where. In the end, Remus had retreated down the hall to the bathroom with his pajamas, leaving Severus in the bedroom to change into his nightshirt. Once there, he had spent a full five minutes trying to decide whether he should wear just the bottoms, which was what he usually did, but usually he wasn't in bed with Severus, and he didn't want Severus to think he was coming on to him... Well, he _was_ coming on to Severus, but not quite so blatantly as all that. On the other hand, if he wore the full set, would Severus think he was trying to keep distance between them? Severus knew he slept in only the bottoms, after all.

Finally, he gave himself a stern look in the mirror, lectured himself (silently) about behaving like a teenager with a crush, and changed into the bottoms -- just the bottoms. He told himself it was because he was a mature adult who was not at the mercy of silly insecurities, and that being half-naked created a greater chance for skin-to-skin contact with Severus while they were shifting about during the night had nothing to do with it whatsoever.

When he went back to the bedroom, Severus was already in bed, lying on his side facing the wall, with the blankets pulled up almost to his nose; his eyes were closed, and he didn't acknowledge Remus' return. Remus slipped under the covers with him, careful to keep to his side of the bed, and lay down on his side as well, facing away from Severus. He had quietly wished Severus good night, received a muffled grunt in response, and spent the better part of an hour trying to forget that Severus was lying within touching distance so that he could get to sleep.

The next morning, he woke up to find himself lying on his back; to his surprise, Severus was as well. They had moved close enough that their shoulders were pressing against each other, and Remus had draped his arm across Severus'. The alarm had woken them both at the same time, but other than casting furtive looks at each other as they scrambled out of bed, they didn't acknowledge the nocturnal touching.

The next night, Remus had stayed up later than usual; he'd been engrossed in a new book that had arrived in the shop earlier in the week, and he wanted to finish it. By the time he went upstairs, Severus was already asleep, once again curled up on his side, but he had left the lamp on Remus' side turned on. Smiling at the little sign of consideration, Remus undressed quickly and quietly and climbed into bed.

He didn't immediately lie down, however. Instead, he took a moment simply to look at Severus, drinking in the details -- his hair fanned out on the pillow like a spill of ink against the white linen, the relaxed lines of his body, how the lines of care on his face smoothed out. He looked younger, closer to his age, as if the temporary oblivion that sleep brought lifted the weight of his memories and choices. On impulse, Remus leaned over and dropped a swift kiss on Severus' shoulder and whispered "good night, Severus" before settling under the covers and rolling onto his side.

That morning, he was still lying on his side when he awoke. The difference was that Severus was sprawled on his back, and Remus was snuggled up next to him, his head resting on Severus' shoulder and his arm thrown across Severus' waist. They had avoided eye contact until breakfast and still didn't speak of it.

Now it was Saturday, and Remus was awake -- and he was spooned up against Severus, no less. Once again, he had draped his arm possessively across Severus' waist, and this time, he had time to enjoy it. Smiling, he pressed his nose against the back of Severus' neck, breathing in deeply of soap and shampoo and the warm scent of Severus' skin. He could feel the heat of Severus' body radiating through the thin material of his nightshirt, and he pressed against it; the only thing that could possibly be better would be if they were skin-to-skin. With a little sigh of contentment, he nestled closer, savoring the closeness while it lasted. Once Severus woke up, it would end, and he wasn't ready for that yet.

Snuggled in all warm and cozy, Remus was on his way to dozing off again when Severus shifted in his embrace, as if stretching slightly, and spoke, his voice husky from sleep. "Do you plan on keeping me here all day, Lupin?"

Remus chuckled sleepily. "You're the one who wanted to attend to business this weekend. If it were up to me, I very well might keep you here." He paused and then added with a mischievous note in his voice, "You make an excellent teddy bear."

A derisive snort greeted that remark, but Remus noticed that Severus wasn't exactly leaping out of bed to escape him. Instead, he fell silent for a moment before asking, "Are you going to wear your old robes today?"

"I don't have them anymore. I got rid of everything. Well," he added with a wry smile, "everything except that kettle you burnt. That was my only souvenir, but mainly because it was still useful."

"I suppose I should wear my robes."

"Not if you don't want to." Remus rubbed his upper arm gently, wanting to offer reassurance and support. This would not be an easy day for Severus, no matter that he had made the decision himself. "You don't owe that world anything anymore, Severus. You're free to do as you please."

"Free..." The word was released on a sigh, and Remus was barely certain he heard it. There was another moment of silence, and then Severus spoke again, his voice at its normal volume, his tone firm and decisive. "Perhaps we should go shopping beforehand. I need more clothes anyway."

"Yes, you do. We could go back to the place we went the first time."

"That will do."

Another silence. Remus didn't move; he wasn't about to get up until Severus did, not when it meant giving up snuggling, but Severus kept not getting up either, and after several minutes of neither of them getting up, Remus was growing increasingly amused.

"You did want to go today?" he asked innocently.

"Yes, yes. Let's get it over with," Severus grumbled.

"You do realize that means getting out of bed at some point."

"I'm not stupid, Lupin. Of course I realize that."

"Well?"

"Well _what_?"

"I'm not moving until you do. Just so you know."

"Oh, all _right_." With an annoyed sigh that let Remus know exactly how put-upon he was, Severus flung back the covers and rolled out of bed; grinning, Remus followed.

He didn't want to rush anything -- what they shared was still new, and he didn't want to mess it up by moving too quickly -- but all the signs pointed to Severus growing as ready for increased intimacy as he was. The signals were subtle but there, and he would continue to watch for them closely.

Severus came downstairs while Remus was finishing up the sausages, and Remus was pleased to see that he was wearing Muggle clothes -- jeans and the green sweater that Remus liked so well. Perhaps it was a little rebellion on Severus' part, but whatever the reason, Remus was proud of him for choosing to wear what he pleased, instead of conforming to the standards of their old way of life.

Within an hour, they were on their way to London. The train ride was uneventful; other than a slight delay, which didn't affect them since they weren't on a schedule, no problems arose, and Severus spent most of the trip gazing out the window. Remus knew it couldn't be the novelty of being on a train that engrossed him -- he'd ridden the Hogwarts Express along with every other student to attend the school -- and he guessed that Severus was thinking about his decision and about the tremendous change his life was about to undergo. Granted, he had been living as a Muggle for weeks, but he hadn't fully committed to it as a permanent change. Now it was real, and Remus wondered if he was having second thoughts.

Thus Remus sat quietly beside him and read, leaving him alone with his thoughts as the train sped towards London and Diagon Alley and Severus' new life. If it seemed like Severus was brooding later, he would see if Severus wanted to talk about it, but for now, he thought it best to let Severus sort things out on his own.

Their adventure began when they had to board the tube in order to reach the department store. It was close to noon, and the carriages were filled with people going to and fro during their lunch break; Remus had to walk Severus through the process, which slowed them down along with the lines and crowd packed on the platform, waiting to board, and when they found a carriage with room enough, they had to cling to the overhead bars. That wasn't a problem in itself, except that they weren't the only ones standing, and Severus grew increasingly fidgety when more people boarded and his personal space was infringed on from all sides.

"Someone is _touching_ me!" he snapped as the doors finally closed, earning looks from the other passengers that ranged from curious to annoyed.

Remus leaned forward and murmured in his ear. "It's me."

"...oh."

Severus fell silent after that, and Remus smiled calmly, keeping his hand tucked snugly in the back pocket of Severus' jeans.

At the next stop, even more people crowded on board, including a rather frazzled-looking young woman who was holding a red-faced baby that was howling at the top of its lungs. She rubbed its back and bobbed it up and down as she boarded, shooting an apologetic look around at the other passengers, but the baby seemed unappreciative of the comforting, and its screeching remained undiminished in volume. Remus wondered when it took time to draw breath, considering there weren't any discernable pauses in its cries.

In response, about half a dozen portable CD players suddenly went full volume, adding tinny strains of about half a dozen different types of music to the mix; those who were in conversation already began to talk louder in order to be heard over the noise, and Remus could practically see Severus' blood pressure rising.

"One more stop," he said, rubbing his cheek briefly against Severus' shoulder. "That's all."

"I hate this thing," Severus snarled. "It's too loud, too crowded, there are too many people, it smells, and someone else is touching me besides you!" He turned a fierce scowl on a young woman on his other side; she giggled and winked at him, but when Remus shot a warning glare at her as well, she grinned and gave up, clutching the overhead bar with one hand and the shoulder strap of her backpack with the other.

By the time they reached the department store -- after Remus had soothed him with a large cola and a fat, juicy hamburger for lunch -- Severus' grumpiness had faded, and he didn't grumble or protest when Remus sent him off to the men's department alone. Remus had plans of his own, and he hurried off to the electronics department, hoping he could find what he was looking for -- namely, a new computer game for Severus. Although Severus was still playing computer chess, he seemed to be growing a little tired of it, and Remus thought he might be interested in something new and different.

He ruled out the first person shooting games; considering Severus' reaction to the film they'd seen before he learnt is was just make-believe, he didn't know if Severus would enjoy playing a game filled with blood and violence. He didn't want the computerized board games, either; Severus wasn't familiar with the games in question, and if he was going to learn how to play them, he might as well play the real world versions with Remus.

After much browsing and deliberation, Remus narrowed it down to three choices. One game would allow Severus to build and run his own civilization, the second would allow Severus to build and run a city, and the third would allow him to create people and run their lives. In the end, he bought two, choosing the game with the wee people and the one which involved trying to take over the world, both of which he thought Severus would find very satisfying. He thought he might enjoy them as well, if Severus could be convinced to share. Perhaps they ought to consider getting another computer... Well, provided Severus did move in with him for good. He wasn't going to assume, since the subject of permanent cohabitation hadn't come up, but he did hope.

By the time Remus made his way to the men's department and tracked down Severus, he found that Severus was already paying for his purchases and looking quite pleased with himself. Everything was already bagged up, and Remus tried to sneak peeks inside to see what Severus had chosen, but Severus snatched up the bags and gave Remus a reproving look before sweeping away.

Instead of heading to the exit, however, Severus made a detour to the nearest public loo. "I want to change before we go," he announced, and Remus lifted a questioning eyebrow at him, but he ignored it, thrusting four bags into Remus' arms and keeping two for himself as he disappeared. Naturally, Remus availed himself of the opportunity to poke through the bags, not in the least bit surprised to learn that Severus had chosen dark colors, mostly black and deep blue, although there was a green shirt in there as well.

And then Severus emerged from the loo, and Remus nearly dropped the bags, his lower jaw, and what remained of his restraint all at the same time.

Severus was still wearing jeans, but he had bought a new pair, the kind that were made to look old and faded, the kind that were soft and snug even without having been washed a hundred times, and he had changed out of the green sweater and into a new one. It was the color of a rich red wine, and he was wearing a white tee shirt beneath, visible thanks to the crew neck of the sweater. The sleeves were pushed up -- with Voldemort's demise, the Dark Mark had faded, and apparently Severus didn't feel the need to cover every inch of bare skin now that he had nothing to hide -- and around his left wrist was fastened a watch, the timepiece set in a wide black leather cuff. And he was wearing boots.

"Ogling" wasn't quite strong enough to describe the way Remus devoured Severus with his eyes, all the while hoping that he wasn't visibly drooling. He clutched the bags to his chest, wishing he could clutch Severus instead, and tried to find his voice to say that Severus looked very nice indeed, but he couldn't, and judging from the way Severus was smirking at him, his expression was saying it for him anyway. At least, he _hoped_ his expression was saying that, although he had a sneaking suspicion it was really saying, "I want to throw you on the nearest horizontal surface and shag you senseless", but either way, Severus didn't seem to mind.

"Shall we go?" Severus purred, reaching out to take the bags from Remus again.

"Er. Yes. Let's."

They made their way to the entrance of the Leaky Cauldron, Severus' good humor seeming to fade a bit with each step, and Remus watched him with growing sympathy.

"It'll be all right," he said quietly as Severus reached out to open the door.

"Yes." Severus stilled his hand and turned to look at Remus, his expression somber. "I will not change my mind."

Remus nodded and smiled slightly, taking the words as the reassurance he thought Severus meant them to be, and Severus nodded as well before opening the door and walking inside. Only when he'd stepped into the familiar pub did Remus' own uneasiness rise up. It had been over three years since he'd been in this place; it looked the same, and all the familiar sights and scents and sounds crowded him, overwhelming him with memories both good and bad. There weren't many patrons at that time of day, and Remus didn't see anyone he knew other than the bartender, which was a relief.

"We could get a room and leave these there," Severus said, indicating their shopping bags. "We could sit a minute as well. It's been a busy day."

"Yes, that sounds like an excellent idea," he replied, giving Severus a grateful smile.

Once in their room and away from the bustle, Remus sat down on the edge of the bed and drew in a few deep, steadying breaths. As much as he disliked the way the wizarding world treated his kind, as much as he hated living in poverty, he couldn't deny that returning had felt like coming home, and he wished -- not for the first time -- that things had been different, and he hadn't felt he had no other choice but to walk away if he wanted to live anything close to a normal life.

Severus stood nearby, not saying anything, but not seeming impatient either, as if he knew or at least guessed that coming back had been more unsettling than Remus anticipated. Finally, Remus stood and nodded, indicating that he was ready to face Diagon Alley, and they closed and locked the door behind themselves as they made their last trip into the world in which they had been born.

They went to Gringott's first, and it was a relatively simple, if somewhat tedious, procedure to withdraw and convert Severus' money. To Remus' surprise, the bank was even able to issue Severus a cheque charmed to look like legal tender from a Muggle bank so that he didn't have to carry a great deal of cash around.

"Is there anything else you'd like to do before we create the documents?" Remus asked as they exited the bank, and Severus shook his head.

"I have no further business here," he said tersely.

Remus nodded, and they turned their steps back towards the Leaky Cauldron, but just after they passed Flourish & Blott's, Remus heard a familiar voice calling his name.

"Professor Lupin? Professor Lupin, is that you?"

He turned, mustering a polite smile even as he inwardly grimaced over having been spotted. He had hoped to get in and out of the place without running into anyone he knew, but such was not his luck. Neville Longbottom was beaming cheerfully as he approached, and not far behind him was Hermione Granger, who appeared to be waddling, the obvious swell of pregnancy slowing her down.

"Where have you been?" Hermione asked, her tone almost scolding. "We were worried something had happened to you when the wedding invitation came back as undeliverable."

"Hello to you, too," Remus replied, smiling to take the edge from his words. "I see you've been busy in my absence. Are you two...?"

"What?" Neville laughed and shook his head. "No, I'm seeing Ginny. And hullo," he added a bit sheepishly.

"Hello," Hermione echoed. "Harry and I are. We were married almost two years ago, and this is our first. A boy," she said proudly, resting her hand on her rounded abdomen. "Harry and Ron are in Quality Quidditch -- we may have to send a rescue party to get them out, but I'm sure they'd love to see you."

Remus cast a glance over his shoulder at Severus, who was hanging back several paces. "I'm here with Severus. We have business."

Both Neville and Hermione followed Remus' gaze, and the stunned disbelief on their faces would have made Remus laugh aloud if he hadn't been more concerned about answering a lot of questions. Unable to skulk in the background any longer, Severus stepped forward, and Remus could see sardonic amusement in his eyes at the reactions of his former students.

"Mr. Longbottom. Mrs. Potter."

"Granger-Potter, if you please."

"Of course." Severus turned his attention to Remus, resting his hand on Remus' shoulder in an almost proprietary gesture, as if making his claim clear to the newcomers, and in the face of Hermione's pregnancy and Neville's casual announcement of a relationship with Ginny Weasley, Remus found that he didn't mind at all, especially when it made their companions boggle even more. "If you want to have a Gryffindor class reunion, go ahead. I brought a book. I can amuse myself in our room easily enough, and I'm in no particular hurry."

"You're welcome to join us," Hermione told him, although Remus suspected the invitation stemmed less from a desire for Severus' company and more from politeness and curiosity about the obvious change.

"Well, perhaps a few minutes wouldn't hurt," Remus said albeit reluctantly. He wasn't keen on revealing where he had been and why, but he didn't want to be rude either. "But not long. We still have things to do, and I'd like to go home tonight."

"Where is home now?" Hermione asked as Neville darted off to Quality Quidditch Supplies to fetch Harry and Ron. "Somewhere unplottable?"

Remus felt himself growing tense; he'd been so careful about maintaining his privacy, but he didn't know how to avoid answering the inevitable questions without lying or telling them that it wasn't any of their business. It wasn't, really, but he doubted they would understand why he wanted to keep his whereabouts secret. "Perhaps you should save your questions until we're all together. That way, I won't have to answer twice."

She nodded and glanced towards the Quidditch supply shop, and Severus gave Remus' shoulder a surreptitious squeeze. Within a minute or two, Harry and Ron had been fetched, they had greeted Remus with warm enthusiasm, and had boggled over Severus' appearance before it was decided that they should have a drink together at the pub.

Once they were settled at a quiet table in a corner near the hearth with butterbeers all around -- except for Hermione, who ordered a fizzy drink with a cherry and a little pink umbrella -- the questions began.

"So where've you been all this time?" Harry asked, leaning back in his seat with one arm draped casually across the back of Hermione's chair. "We tried to send messages, but they all came back, and no one knew where you'd gone. The only reason we knew you weren't dead is that the owls made the attempt to deliver them, rather than refusing to go."

"I didn't mean to cause anyone concern," Remus said, cupping his hands around his glass and gazing into its depths. "To be honest, I didn't think anyone would realize I was gone."

Hermione gasped at that. "How could you think such a thing?"

"The war was over, the Order was disbanded, and everyone had gone about their lives," Remus said simply. "I didn't have a home, a job, or a family. I had no reason to stay."

"You had friends," Neville spoke up staunchly.

"My friends are dead," he corrected gently. "I had colleagues in the Order and former students who may have been fond of me and felt the ties that bind all soldiers in a war together, but I didn't have friends close enough to give me reason to stay."

There was a bit of squirming around the table at that, and Remus felt a little twinge -- he hadn't intended to make any of them feel guilty -- but he wasn't about to varnish the truth for them.

"Where'd you go, then?" Ron asked.

"I've been living as a Muggle for the past three years." Quickly, he held up one hand to forestall any questions. "Don't ask me where. I'm not going to tell you. Suffice to say, I severed my ties with the wizarding world, and this is the first time I've been back. I have a job and a home, and I've made some very good friends, all because Muggles don't believe in werewolves. I'm free of both prejudice and poverty, and no, I don't regret my decision."

"Why _did_ you come back?" Harry asked. "Not for a social call, I suppose."

Remus chuckled, but before he could answer, Severus replied for him. "Because of me. He's here because I asked him to help me leave, too."

"You... you're leaving?" Surprisingly, Neville had worked up the courage to address Severus directly, and Severus turned a cool, level gaze on him.

"Yes, Mr Longbottom. I am." The unspoken dare for someone to ask why hung in the air, and no one took it up.

"Well, as long as you're happy," Harry said awkwardly.

After that, the conversation turned to other things, and Remus heard all about the things he had missed while he was away. Eventually, the young people had relaxed even with Severus present, perhaps because he wasn't snarling and taking House points, and Remus had enjoyed their company. He found himself leaning forward, eager to hear all about the people he'd once known. Tonks and Moody were still working together, Percy Weasley was steadily rising in the Ministry, and Bill Weasley had gone back to Egypt. Harry was teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts; Hermione was an independent researcher, studying and creating advanced charms, Ron was an Auror, and Neville was on his way to becoming one of the most well-known and well-respected horticulturists in wizarding Britain.

Remus was happy for them, but he was also a bit wistful. They were still young and already pursuing their dreams, because they had no restrictions placed on them. What had he done? Got a job at a bookshop. Such potential there, he thought, but then again, his life was a hundred times better now than it had been before he left. He had choices now. He had freedom. And perhaps one day he might be able to say he had Severus as well.

By the time they returned home that night, Remus was exhausted. It had been a long, busy day, and to top it off, he was still trying to shake the unsettling effects that running into Harry, Hermione, and the others had had on him. He'd spent the past three years trying to put that world behind him, and in one afternoon, all his work was undone. Seeing them again had brought back so many memories, and he did care for them. Part of him wondered whether he might have developed close friendships with any of them if he had stayed. Without the war looming over all them, they might have had time to find other ways of connecting than just through the Order, and they were adults, no longer his students, after all.

But then he reminded himself that forming friendships wouldn't have changed his financial situation. He still would have been without a job or a home, and his slow slide into poverty would have continued, unchecked. He had done the right thing for himself, and he knew it. He did feel a twinge of guilt over causing them worry, but he had thought it was for the best. He didn't want to be found, didn't want people from his past invading his new life. Yet someone had, and he couldn't honestly say that he regretted it at all.

He distracted himself from his thoughts by giving Severus the two computer games, watching him eagerly in hopes that he would like the gift, and Severus took the boxes hesitantly, glancing at Remus with obvious surprise.

"You bought these for me?"

"I thought you might like a change from chess, and these seemed like games you might be interested in." Remus paused, a little uncertain. What if Severus didn't like them, or worse, what if Severus took offense to the implications of his choices? "If you don't like them, we can exchange them," he added, but Severus shook his head.

"I'm sure they'll be fine." He paused, staring at the boxes, but Remus wasn't sure he was actually seeing them. "Albus gives me a book on potions or a supply of some hard-to-find ingredient every year for Christmas. He gives everyone on staff something."

Remus watched him, not quite making a connection between the computer games and Albus' Christmas shopping list, but Severus' expression was closed, revealing nothing. "That sounds... very useful," he said at last, unable to think of anything else better to say.

Severus gave a mirthless laugh. "Very useful indeed. Very practical."

"Is that all anyone gives you?" Remus asked. "Practical gifts?"

"Yes. Practical gifts. Duty gifts."

Comprehension dawned then, and Remus was both stunned and saddened at the impact his gesture had had. He hadn't thought twice about buying the games for Severus; if he had been able to afford it, he would have done more for the people he cared about simply because he enjoyed giving. He enjoyed seeing the pleasure on someone's face when he gave them something he knew they would like, and he wondered how long it had been since anyone had given Severus something frivolous because they wanted to, not because it was the proper thing to do.

"You're welcome," Remus said, meaning it not as a prompt, but as an acknowledgement of what Severus was, in his own oblique way, trying to tell him. "Would you like me to show you how to install them?"

The installation process went smoothly, and Remus left Severus at the computer, reading over the instruction manuals for both games, and he curled up in his chair by the hearth with a book, wanting to read for a little while before going to bed. A few minutes later, Severus had chosen a game to play, and sounds of cheerful music and unintelligible speech wafted over, but Remus tuned it out, engrossed in his book.

Until the screaming began.

He snapped his head up, alarmed, and saw Severus watching the screen intently, an evil smile curving his mouth as the screaming continued. Putting his book aside, Remus got up and went to investigate, his curiosity piqued.

"What in the world is going on?" He stood beside Severus' chair and leaned over to look at the screen as well.

Little people were running around, shrieking as the room they were in was gradually engulfed in flames. There were four of them, three male and one female, and as Remus watched, one of them caught fire as well.

"Aren't you going to do something?" he asked, horrified as he watched it collapse on the floor in a blackened heap, and the Grim Reaper appeared to collect it.

"Absolutely not," Severus replied. "This is better than a voodoo doll."

Remus looked at him askance. "One of those wee people had better not be me," he said, but he didn't think they were. One of the still-living males had black hair, the dead one had been a redhead, and --

Ah.

"None of these are, no."

He patted Severus on the shoulder. "I'll leave you to your therapeutic carnage, then," he said and returned to his book.

Several chapters later, he was once again jolted out of the story by sound effects from the game.

"Severus, why are your wee people howling?"

Severus glanced up at him, his expression bland. "It's what they do when they're playing," he said.

Perhaps it was the studied neutrality of Severus' expression, perhaps it was simply curiosity, or perhaps it was the fact that he knew Severus was sneaky bastard who could twist words around to tell the truth without telling the truth, but something prompted him to get up and see for himself. A fleeting look of alarm crossed Severus' face, and he moved as if to change something, but Remus darted over and grabbed his wrist.

"Don't you touch that mouse! I want to see what's going on."

But when he looked at the screen, he couldn't see any reason why Severus might not have wanted him to look. There were two male little people standing in a bedroom with what was possibly the most tacky and garish bed he'd ever seen. The headboard was shaped like a heart, and it was red and purple -- not something he would have thought Severus would choose to decorate with. But there was no fire this time, and it didn't appear that either of the little men were in danger -- which was a relief, because one of them had brown hair.

Then he noticed that the other one had black hair.

And the purple sheets on the bed were rumpled.

As if to confirm his slowly solidifying theory about what Severus wanted to hide, the little brown haired man walked up to the other man, grabbed him, and a swell of romantic music played as they began to snog. The brown-haired man even groped the other's arse!

 _Go, me_ , Remus thought, grinning wickedly.

"Your wee man doesn't seem to be resisting those advances," he remarked casually.

"They like each other," Severus replied tersely.

"No fires for them, then?"

"No."

The little men finally came up for air, and Remus saw red hearts appear over their heads. "I suppose that means they liked it?"

"Red hearts mean they've fallen in love."

Remus' grin grew wider. "Does it indeed. I'd no idea the game was so detailed."

"It's very complicated. I'm impressed that it manages to imitate life so accurately and in such depth," Severus said, pointedly avoiding eye contact.

"It was a good choice, then?"

"It was, yes."

A little ripple of pleasure went through him at the approval, and he reached out to stroke Severus' hair briefly before standing up straight again. "I'm glad you like it," he said. "Have fun -- I'm off to bed. Good night, Severus."

"Mm."

Still smiling, Remus went upstairs and quickly got ready for bed, but as tired as he was, he couldn't fall asleep right away. His mind was too busy turning over the events of the day up to and including the implications of what he'd seen in Severus' new game. He was on the verge of dozing off when he heard Severus slip into the room; caught in the twilight realm between sleeping and waking, he was vaguely aware of Severus moving around and then climbing into bed with him, but not roused enough to stir or open his eyes.

When he felt a warm body molding against his from behind and a long arm encircle him, the last bit of tension drained away, and he fell swiftly into a deep and dreamless sleep.

* * *

It was the second time that Severus walked in on Remus dancing around, but this time, Remus didn't mind so much, because he was wearing more than just a towel. No, the only thing he was embarrassed about this time was the fact that he had been caught ballroom dancing with a broom.

Normally, Saturdays were his house cleaning days, but they had been gone all day yesterday, thus he'd decided to tidy things up a bit around the house that morning while Severus made lunch. That was another one of their unspoken, agreed-upon routines: Remus did most of the cleaning, and Severus did the cooking except breakfast, which suited Remus just fine since Severus was a much better cook than he was.

"Is there something going on with you and the broom that I should know about?" Severus leaned against the door frame, his arms folded.

Remus laughed and shook his head. "Now that the dance class is over, I don't want to forget what I learnt, and I will if I don't practice." He gave Severus an appraising once-over, his expression speculative. "Unless you want to help me practice."

"I don't know how to dance."

"Neither did I when the class first started." He leaned the broom against the wall and held out his hands, beckoning to Severus. "I'll teach you."

Severus appeared to consider the invitation, and for a moment, Remus thought he might decline, but then he shrugged slightly as if to say "what the hell" and approached Remus. "What do I have to do?"

"Wait -- let me turn on some music." Remus hurried to his CD player and riffled through his collection until he found a compilation CD that he thought would suit and put it in, skipping over to the track he wanted. "We'll start with something relatively easy. The Tango, perhaps? The basic steps are simple enough. I'll teach you the fancier moves later."

"Very well."

Severus was a quick learner, much to Remus' delight. He didn't step on Remus' toes, and Remus had to remind him, "Don't look at your feet, look at me", only twice before he stopped. The first two times they went through the song were the most difficult; by the third time Remus repeated the track, Severus had the steps down and seemed to be feeling more confident.

As they moved around the center of the room in harmony, Remus couldn't help but notice Severus' innate grace; he wished he could watch, since being Severus' partner gave him such a limited view, but then he looked up at Severus, their gazes met and held, and Remus forgot all about watching. Something seemed to click between them -- he could practically feel it -- and they weren't just dancing anymore. They were dancing together, the rhythm of their bodies perfectly matched, and the connection crackling between them like a live wire drew them closer until there was nothing else in the world but the music and their movements and this moment.

When the song ended and the next -- a faster, livelier track -- began, it was almost like a shock, and Remus blinked, feeling a little dazed. He gazed at Severus steadily, and for him, everything fell into place. There were no more doubts about whether he and Severus would remain together. They would, because this was good and right, and he wasn't going to skirt the issue any longer.

"Let's go out tonight," he said, his voice soft and husky.

"We went out yesterday."

"That was business. I'd like to go out for pleasure. A date. Let's have dinner at the pub."

Severus raised an eyebrow at him. "A date? Are you sure this isn't just an excuse because you heard Deirdre is serving rabbit stew tonight?"

Remus chuckled. "No. Well, she might be, but I don't know." He slid his arms around Severus' neck and combed his fingers gently through Severus' hair with one hand. "I want to take you out on a proper date, that's all."

"So we're dating now, are we?" Severus wrapped his arms around Remus' waist, holding him loosely.

"Unless you have an objection to that, yes."

He sniffed disdainfully. "Just don't think one dinner and a couple of computer games will get me into bed with you, Lupin. I'm not easy."

"Oh, believe me, Severus. 'Easy' is _not_ the first word that comes to mind when I think of you," Remus said, flashing an impish grin.

"Should I be insulted?" Severus asked, peering down his nose at Remus.

"No." Smiling fondly, Remus leaned close and brushed a kiss against his cheek before releasing him and stepping back. "If I'd wanted easy, I wouldn't want to be with you -- and I do. Very much."

"Very well, then. I accept your invitation."

"Thank you." He paused, but he couldn't resist adding, "Should I bring flowers?"

A derisive snort was the only response he got before Severus swept away, returning to the kitchen, and Remus retrieved his broom to resume sweeping, unable to keep from humming happily and dancing a little more as he did.


	5. Chapter 5

Scarcely had they walked in the door of the pub when Phil approached and dragged Severus off to introduce him to a group of men clustered at the bar -- the regulars, in fact, which pleased Remus to no end. In spite of their snarking at each other, Phil must have taken a liking to Severus, and that was a very good sign for his acceptance into the community. He watched, a fond smile curving his lips, as Severus coped with suddenly finding himself surrounded and having his hand shook and his back slapped none too gently. He greeted the men he was introduced to politely, and within a minute, he had a beer in his hand and was in the middle of a conversation. From what Remus could see, Severus was mostly listening, but he spoke up as well, and no one was getting angry. On the contrary, they seemed to be enjoying themselves, even Severus in his own way.

Severus enjoying himself in the company of others -- not something Remus thought he would ever see. But Severus wasn't the same as he had been several weeks ago when he first arrived, and Remus wondered if what he was seeing now was the Severus who had been hidden behind all the anger and bitterness and hatred that had built up around him in one vast, thick wall over the years. He also wondered if simply being away from the wizarding world and everything that served as an unpleasant reminder was the cause, or if being free to make his own decisions and being in a new place where he could start over without anyone judging him because of his past, his reputation, or his House had a part in it as well.

"Here you are at last."

Remus smiled warmly as Annabeth slipped her arm through his. "It has been a while, hasn't it."

"You've been busy." She peered up at him, her expression turning mischievous."Busy falling in love, it seems. What happened? The last time we talked, you were wondering how long you would be able to put up with him."

"I was indeed." Remus' smile turned sheepish. "Is it that obvious?"

"You mean the stars in your eyes, the besotted smile, and the fluffy pink clouds beneath your feet? Not terribly." She laughed at his chagrined expression and gave his arm a squeeze. "Perhaps not as obvious as all that to the casual observer, but I know you, dear heart. Three years, and I've never seen a single hint that Mr. Calm and Collected had the same feelings and wicked urges as the rest of us lesser beings. I was beginning to wonder if you were a eunuch."

It was his turn to laugh then, and he shook his head. "No, I simply didn't think love was an option for me."

"I'm glad you were proven wrong." She smiled at him and then turned her attention to Severus. "He's not conventionally handsome, but my God, those legs. No wonder you're willing to put up him."

"It explains a lot, doesn't it?" Remus chuckled. "He's different now. Being away from his stressful job has helped him relax, I think. We've learnt a great deal about each other."

"And you fell in love with him in the process." She gave him a searching look, her expression tinged with concern. "Does he share your feelings?"

"He hasn't said as much, but then, he wouldn't. I'm sure of it, though. Enough has happened, and enough has been said that if he didn't, he would have run away screaming by now."

She nodded, and the concern in her eyes faded away. "What about the sex? How amazing is it?"

"We haven't had sex yet, actually," he admitted. "Soon, I think, but neither of us have wanted to rush."

"You're both the slow, cautious type? Good lord, I'm surprised you've even kissed at this point, if that's the case." She caught his wry smile and swatted his arm. "You haven't kissed him yet? What in hell are you waiting for? A cue with music and spotlights? And if you say 'the right moment', I swear I will tell Rhonda McGowan that you fancy her but lack the nerve to ask her out."

"God, you're cruel, woman!" He gave an exaggerated wince at the threat. "I wasn't going to say 'the right moment' anyway." She glared at him, and he rolled his eyes. "All right, I was, but it isn't true. I haven't kissed him, because I wasn't certain until this afternoon that he does indeed share my feelings, and I didn't want to take the risk prematurely."

She tutted at him. "Well, I hope you have something far more interesting report the next time I see you." For a moment, she looked as if she might say more, but then she glanced over at the bar. "Provided I live to see you, that is. He does glare rather well, doesn't he."

"It's one of his best features." Remus waved to Severus, who had obviously noticed them standing together, and beckoned him over, and Severus immediately excused himself to join them. "Severus, this is Annabeth. You've heard me mention her, I'm sure. Annabeth, this is Severus."

"A pleasure," Annabeth said, smiling and holding out her hand, and Severus shook it somewhat grudgingly. "I'm very glad to meet you, Severus. I've heard quite a lot about you."

"Exaggeration or outright lies, all of it," Severus replied.

"Oh? You mean you aren't fantastic in bed? How disappointing."

Remus was grateful that he hadn't gotten himself a beer yet, or he would have been in great danger of doing a spit-take. He could feel his face turning red, and he quickly looked at Severus to see how he was taking it, but to his surprise, Severus appeared amused.

"Those tales might have a grain of truth in them," he said, and Remus breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm hungry," Remus announced before the next shot could be launched. "Are you hungry, Severus? I am. Let's get a table."

"I take it I'm not to be invited to join you," Annabeth said, her smile teasing.

"I adore you, but no. Go away now."

"Imperious brat. Do try to take a risk or two tonight, hhm?" With that, she strolled away, headed back to the bar, and Remus scanned the room for a secluded table.

Once they were seated, Deirdre took their order and returned quickly with two beers and a promise that the food would be out soon. Severus took a deep drink and then sat his glass down, watching Remus with a speculative look in his eyes.

"Truth or dare," he said at last.

"Truth -- although there's nothing going on between me and Annabeth, if that's what you were going to ask. I've no interest in women, and she knows that. We're good friends, nothing more," Remus said quickly.

"I know," Severus replied. "I could tell when I joined you. She didn't behave as if she had feelings for you, and the remark about sex was a dead give-away. That wasn't my question."

"Good." Remus gave a relieved smile. "What is your question, then?"

"If you could go back without having to worry about money, would you?"

He gazed into his glass for a moment, considering. He didn't want to sound discouraging, but he didn't want to lie either, and in the end, he looked up, meeting Severus' gaze, and quietly said yes. "It was my home for nearly forty years. It was my way of life. I miss it. I miss the people I once knew. It's more difficult here in many ways, but the trade-off is that I don't face the same problems that were threatening to send me begging in the streets, and that makes it worth the sacrifices. But if I could go back and not face those problems again, I would. I don't hate that world, only what it does to my kind."

Severus watched him silently for a moment longer and then nodded. "Your turn."

Since the door had been opened and the invitation extended, Remus asked the question that had been burning in the back of his mind ever since Severus arrived. "Why do you want to leave?"

They were briefly interrupted by the arrival of their meals, but once Deirdre had set the plates in front of them and left again, Severus took another deep drink and began to speak. "I made a choice in my youth that haunted me for decades. I lived under the thumbs of two men more powerful than I, a pawn in the war they fought between them. One choice -- and all the choices that came after were either out of my control or dictated by that one choice. After the war, I was finally free of the effects of that choice. I had freedom, and yet I didn't. No one aside from Albus would hire a known former Death Eater, no matter what side he was on in the end, and I was not wealthy enough to live the rest of my life unemployed. I was boxed in because of what I was, and there was no escaping that stigma. I want to leave because I want to live my life on my own terms for the first time since I was an adolescent."

"What about the people you'll leave behind?" Remus asked quietly.

"Like you, I have no close ties. No family, no friends. I have colleagues, most of whom don't like me. There is no one I will miss, or who will miss me."

"You're different now, did you realize?" Remus leaned back in his chair, toying with his fork. "You're not nearly as unapproachable as you were. Tonight is a perfect example of that. You could have friends here, but I dare say you could have friends there as well, if you went back as you are."

"Being away has helped me put some things in perspective," Severus replied. "Time and distance are great healers, they say, and these past few weeks have proven that to be true. Still, there is no guarantee I would not slip back into old patterns, were I to find myself in old, familiar places."

"Then again, you might not. You have some measure of detachment now. I can't imagine that you would simply forget it because you walked into Hogwarts again."

"There is still the matter of employment. I have no desire to spend the rest of my life teaching. I loathe it."

Remus smiled wryly. "It sounds like we're both better off where we are, then."

"It does indeed." Severus fell silent, taking a few bites of food. "Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"How long has it been since you had sex?"

Remus nearly choked on a bite of potato, and he coughed and sputtered for a moment before he could draw breath well enough to answer. "Several years," he said. "The last time was when I was working at Hogwarts. I had a brief affair with a lovely man who worked at Gladrags. You?"

"Ten years or so. It wasn't an affair, just a quick shag."

It was clear that Severus didn't particularly want to discuss it further, and so Remus simply nodded. "Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Did you really hate me as much as you seemed to?"

Severus went still and then put his fork down. "Not until sixth year. Up until that point, I had dismissed you as a weak-willed follower who let Potter and Black get away with everything because you didn't have the strength to stand up to them. After Black sent me to the Shrieking Shack, yes, I hated you. I thought you were an accomplice. I thought you knew about it and agreed to go along with it, and that's when I began hating you as well."

"I didn't know," Remus said, reaching across the table to stroke Severus' arm. He had said it before, but he wanted to say it again, wanted to make sure that Severus knew and believed him. "I swear I didn't. Even if you had been my worst enemy, I wouldn't have agreed, if I'd known, and you weren't my worst enemy."

"What was I?"

"That Slytherin boy whom Sirius and James hated so much. I didn't hate you. You annoyed me, the way you constantly tried to get us into trouble --"

"You were constantly breaking the rules."

"Well, yes," Remus conceded. "But it was still annoying to have to look out for Filch _and_ you," he said, smiling, his hand still on Severus' arm. "Anyway, I didn't hate you. I felt sorry for you sometimes, because of the way they treated you. I didn't like it, but I didn't want to make them angry and risk losing their friendship. I needed it too badly then, because I'd never had friends before, not ones who remained my friends after they learnt what I am. I thought they were special for that." He paused, studying Severus. "When did you stop hating me?"

A one-sided smile quirked Severus' mouth. "Somewhere between you telling me that the green sweater looked nice and the time I burnt the kettle."

"Oh, really?" Remus raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Yes, really." He pushed a slice of carrot around his plate for a moment. "You were very patient and kind, even though I had barged into your life uninvited. I could see the difference being away had made for you. You seemed relaxed and happy -- a deeper sense of contentment than the surface calm you had before. Being here kept me so busy and engrossed that everything else began to fade away, like a dream, and the more I began to see you as a person rather than simply as the living representative of painful memories, the more difficult it became for me to sustain my hatred."

"You aren't disgusted by what I am, then? That I'm tainted?"

"All things considered, I can hardly claim to be untainted myself." Severus rested his hand lightly on top of Remus'. "No. I'm neither disgusted nor afraid. Not anymore."

"I'm glad," Remus said, smiling warmly at him.

Severus nodded and removed his hand. "Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"What do you like best in bed?"

Once again, Remus was caught off-guard by the question, and he gaped at Severus, stunned that he was asking so bluntly. "Taking notes, are you?"

"Yes. Now answer the question."

A little inner imp of mischief rose up within Remus, and he removed his hand from Severus' arm and leaned back in his chair, smirking. "All right, I will. What I like best is taking my lover face to face so I can watch him while I enter him. There's nothing quite like that first thrust, when I can feel him so hot and tight around my cock. I love the feeling of sliding in slow and deep and watching him squirm, his hands on my arse, pushing and trying to get me to move faster, but I won't." He paused, his smirk widening as Severus surreptitiously shifted in his chair. "You?" he asked innocently.

"What I like best is sucking his cock," Severus replied, his gaze fixed steadily on Remus' face, his voice dropping to a low, sultry purr that made Remus want to leap across the table and lick his throat. "Bringing him to the edge and back over and over until he's begging me to let him come, until he's insane with the need for release, knowing that he'll get it only when I'm ready to give it to him."

Remus stared at him, his breathing ragged at the images that brought to mind. Severus on his knees, clutching Remus' hips. Severus kneeling over him, long hair tickling his skin as Severus drove him to the edge of madness.

"Truth or dare," he breathed, his own gaze never leaving Severus'.

Severus smirked at him. "Dare."

"I dare you to let me kiss you. Right here. Right now."

Severus' eyes widened slightly. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

Rising to his feet, Remus leaned half-way across the table, still holding Severus' gaze. "I've never been more sure of anything."

Instead of replying, Severus stood as well, bracing both hands on the table as he leaned over to meet Remus, and that was all the answer Remus needed. He rested one hand on the back of Severus' head and closed what little distance remained between them, brushing his lips lightly against Severus' before returning for a deeper kiss. Severus parted his lips, silently inviting, and Remus moaned softly as he flicked his tongue inside Severus' mouth for a quick taste. If he could have, he would have devoured Severus' mouth with eager hunger, but they were in public, and he didn't want to put on that much of a show.

Instead, he contented himself with as deep as kiss as he could manage without tongues, sucking and nipping at Severus' lips, soft noises of pleasure rising in his throat when Severus did the same. He was vaguely aware of the volume of conversation in the room dwindling to nothing and the sound of shattered glass as a couple of beers hit the floor, and when he finally -- and reluctantly -- broke the kiss, he turned to see everyone in the room gawking at them with dumbfounded expressions, except for Annabeth, who beamed and gave him a thumbs-up, and Phil, who raised his glass in a silent toast.

Remus smiled at them all. "I'm sorry, ladies," he said. "But we're both officially off the market."

It wasn't exactly how Remus had planned to come out. He had been considering the idea, of course, but he thought it would be a less public event, something involving his friends in a more intimate setting, perhaps over tea or a nice dinner. But he didn't regret his decision at all. The news would become public soon enough, and he wanted Severus to know that he was proud of their relationship, and that he had no intentions of trying to hide it. This was one secret he was no longer going to keep hidden from the world.

Not everyone was happy for them, of course. There were a few looks of disgust around the room, and a couple of people stormed out, muttering about indecency and unnatural depravity, but most seemed tolerant, and those who knew Remus well were more than tolerant. After the initial disappointment of losing two eligible bachelors -- and to each other, no less -- several of the women seemed intrigued by the idea of Remus and Severus as a couple and kept a close eye on them, as if in hopes they would kiss again.

But after a round of drinks to celebrate their new relationship, Remus murmured a suggestion that perhaps it was time to call it a night, and Severus was quick to agree. They said their good nights and received some knowing looks, winks, and nudges in return -- or rather Remus did, since the other patrons were more familiar with his tolerance level for teasing. Remus smiled and bore it all with good humor, but he could hardly wait until they were home and alone, and he could taste Severus properly.

The walk home seemed interminable, even though they were both walking more quickly than usual by unspoken agreement, and they didn't speak. He didn't know about Severus, but Remus' mind was already racing ahead and wondering just how serious Severus had been when he said it would take more than dinner and computer games to get him into bed. He thought it had been Severus' version of teasing. At least he hoped it was, because he _would_ wait as long as necessary for Severus to agree to sex, but he didn't particularly want to wait.

Finally, they reached the cottage, and Remus fumbled with his keys in his haste to get the door open. Once it was closed and locked behind them, he turned to Severus, and they simply looked at each other, neither moving or speaking, as if they were both unsure of how to proceed now that this moment had arrived. _One kiss_ , Remus thought. They would start with a kiss, and Severus would let him know if he wasn't ready for sex, but for now, Remus needed to kiss him more than he needed to drawn his next breath.

Stepping closer, Remus reached out and framed Severus' face between his hands, drawing him down to a gentle kiss. He kept it light at first, deepening the kiss only when Severus parted his lips and rested his hands at Remus' waist; he traced Severus' lips with the tip of his tongue and then slipped it just inside Severus' mouth, teasing, darting it in and out until Severus made a little noise of frustration and sucked it deeper, stroking it with his own hungrily. Winding his arms around Severus' neck, Remus claimed Severus' mouth at last, delving deep with his tongue, stroking Severus' palate and teeth and cheeks as far as he could reach, eager to explore and taste.

He slid one hand up into Severus' hair, finger-combing it gently, and pressed his body against Severus', moaning when he felt Severus wrap both arms around him, caressing his back from shoulder to hip with slow, broad sweeps of his hands. The kiss continued slow and deep and thorough as they stood entwined, roaming hands mapping out new territory, memorizing each place where a single touch led to a gasp, a moan, a hitch in the breath.

When they pulled away at last -- slowly, reluctantly -- their breathing was ragged, and Severus' thin lips were reddened and gleaming. Remus ran his fingers through Severus' hair and then cupped his cheek, stroking it tenderly with his thumb before leaning in for another kiss, but Severus stopped him with a finger against his lips.

"Let's go upstairs," Severus said, his voice low and silken, the mere sound entrancing Remus so much that it took him a moment to process the actual words.

"I thought you said you weren't easy," he said, teasing Severus with a smile.

"I lied."

"Fair enough."

He released Severus and stepped back, gesturing for Severus to precede him up the stairs. It was less a matter of courtesy than it was a shameless ploy to watch Severus' jeans-clad arse all the way to the bedroom, and he just barely managed to restrain himself from groping as well as ogling.

Once inside the bedroom, he turned on the lamp on his side of the bed and glanced over his shoulder at Severus. "You don't mind, do you? I'd like to see you."

"I don't mind."

Severus sat down on his side and began removing his shoes and socks, and Remus did the same. The soft glow from the lamp illuminated most of the bed, but the rest of the room was cast in shadow, giving it an intimate atmosphere. The silence, broken only by the sound of their breathing, seemed heavy, and Remus wondered if Severus felt as nervous as he did. It had been so long since he'd had sex, and now suddenly he was assailed with doubt. What if he had forgotten everything he knew about sex? What if he couldn't last? What if he didn't measure up to Severus' former lovers -- in more ways than one?

He glanced over at Severus only to find Severus glancing back at him, and with that quick, shared look, his concerns faded away. It would be all right. He was about to make love with Severus, and it didn't matter if they bumped teeth, or if someone's hair got pulled, or if it wasn't exactly perfect, because he loved Severus and wanted him more than he'd ever wanted anyone before in his life, and that was its own kind of perfection.

Scooting to the center of the bed, he stretched out on his side and beckoned to Severus, holding out one arm to him, and Severus stretched out and moved into his waiting embrace. Smiling, he wrapped his arm around Severus and leaned closer, nuzzling Severus' nose affectionately for a moment before kissing him again, not hesitating to slip his tongue between Severus' lips this time. Severus draped his arm around Remus in return, sliding his hand down Remus' back to grasp his arse, urging him closer until no space remained between their bodies.

Moaning into Severus' mouth, Remus slid his hand along Severus' thigh and hooked it behind Severus' knee, guiding it over his hip as he insinuated his own leg between Severus'. Snugging his thigh against Severus' erection, he rocked his hips and rubbed against it, swallowing Severus' moans eagerly, and Severus began lifting the hem of his sweater, pushing it up his chest. Helping Severus remove it meant breaking the kiss, which he didn't want to do, but removing it also meant bare skin, and that was worth giving up Severus' mouth, at least for a few seconds.

He sat up and pulled the sweater up and off, tossing it aside carelessly before tugging impatiently at Severus' sweater and undershirt. Severus sat up and pulled both off at the same time, sending them to join Remus' sweater on the floor, and Remus reached for him again, eager for the feel of Severus' skin against his own.

Their mouths met, hot and hungry, and Remus felt as if he could almost come just from the exquisite pleasure of Severus' chest rubbing against his. His hands roamed Severus' back swiftly, caressing every inch of bare skin that he could reach and pressing his fingertips along the length of Severus' spine, and then he began to scratch lightly, and Severus gave a muffled cry, his back arching into the scratching as he wriggled with obvious pleasure.

He dug in with his nails, scratching harder for a moment before tearing his mouth away from Severus' and beginning to trail hot, messy kisses along Severus' jaw and down his neck. Severus tilted his chin up, exposing the long line of his throat, and Remus dragged his tongue along the length of it before continuing his downward path, latching on to Severus' nipple greedily. Severus gasped and writhed in his arms as he lapped and sucked the hardened nub before finally taking it between his teeth, worrying it more and more roughly as Severus' moans grew louder.

As he shifted his attention to Severus' other nipple, he trailed his fingertips down Severus' chest and stomach to the waistband of his jeans, unfastening the buttons as quickly as he could, and then he sat up again as Severus lifted his hips so he could strip away the cumbersome jeans and add them to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. Beneath them, Severus was wearing the black stretchy underpants, and Remus paused to admire them, caressing Severus' hip. But the strain of Severus' erection pushing against the material was too distracting, and he teased Severus, stroking and squeezing his cock until Severus shot him an impatient glare and began wriggling out of his underpants himself, no longer content to wait for Remus' help.

Remus sat back on his heels, his breath catching at the sight of Severus laid bare before him. His gaze roamed the length of Severus' body with greedy hunger, and he was overwhelmed with the urge to do _everything_ right _now_. He wanted to touch, to taste, to claim, and he didn't want to wait for any of it. His need must have shown in his face, because Severus smirked at him and reached out to unfasten his jeans, pushing them down his hips, and Remus wriggled out of both his jeans and his underpants at the same time, pouncing on top of Severus as soon as he had discarded them.

Severus wrapped his long legs around Remus' waist, and Remus groaned, his eyes practically rolling back in his head with the pleasure. He wanted to lick and kiss and nibble every inch of those legs from ankle to thigh, to pay them the proper homage they deserved -- but it wouldn't be this time. He didn't trust his restraint to last long enough for that.

"Lube," he gasped, reaching out and flailing for the drawer knob on the bedside table. "We need lubricant now."

It would have been quicker and easier with magic, but fortunately, Remus was prepared with an acceptable alternative. He'd bought the lubricant just in case he had ever indulged in a brief fling, but he hadn't, and so he kept it for his own solitary use instead. As soon as he had retrieved it from the drawer, Severus plucked it from his hand, and Remus didn't protest; to open and apply it would have meant either bracing himself awkwardly on one hand, or sitting up, which would have meant giving up the feel of Severus' legs locked around him.

Severus coated his fingers and slid his hand between their bodies, easing one long finger inside himself. Remus' lungs threatened to stop working entirely as he watched Severus prepare himself, drinking in the sight. Severus closed his eyes, his lips parting slightly as he worked in another finger, scissoring them as he pushed them in and out; he was breathing harder, his hips moving to match the rhythm of his fingers, and Remus moaned, his aching need to plunge deep and shag Severus absolutely senseless doubling.

Finally, Severus removed his fingers and refreshed the lube, curling his hand around Remus' cock and stroking it firmly; Remus gritted his teeth, fighting the urge to rock against Severus' hand. As wound up as he was, it wouldn't take much to send him over the edge, and he wanted to be inside Severus when he came. Then Severus was guiding him into position, and he pushed, the head of his cock slipping easily inside Severus, and he made himself stop, panting from exertion as he gazed down at Severus.

"All right?" he asked, and Severus' only response was to grab Remus' arse and push, his nails digging in.

Remus eased forward, sliding into Severus slowly, and Severus lifted his hips, his body offering no resistance, and Remus uttered a soft cry at the overwhelming feel of Severus sheathing him, surrounding him so hot and tight and welcoming. Severus' thighs squeezed his hips as he held still, buried deep, and he bent his head, capturing Severus' mouth for a possessive kiss. Severus squeezed his arse and then skimmed his hands up and down Remus' back as he surrendered his mouth to the kiss, drawing Remus' tongue deep and sucking it hard.

With one last nip, he released Severus' mouth and began to move, rocking his hips slowly and giving an extra little push each time he buried himself anew, trying to get as deep as possible with each thrust. Severus unwrapped his legs from around Remus and braced his feet on the bed as he squirmed restlessly beneath him, clutching his shoulders and lifting to meet each thrust, grinding against Remus as if he too wanted Remus as deep inside him as possible. He shifted his angle slightly with each thrust, and when Severus cried out, he knew he had found the right one to stroke the sensitive gland within.

Severus threw his head back, his face growing flushed, and his nails bit into Remus' flesh as he moaned and writhed beneath Remus. Grinning fiercely, Remus pushed one hand between them and fisted Severus' cock, pumping it roughly as he began to move faster, thrusting harder. Severus gasped with each pounding thrust, clinging to Remus' shoulders as he snapped his hips up to match Remus' demanding rhythm, quivering as he neared release. A few more strokes, and his body surged convulsively, a wordless shout wrenched from his throat as he came, spilling on Remus' hand and his own stomach.

Releasing Severus' cock, Remus braced himself on both hands and continued to thrust; Severus lifted his legs and wrapped them around Remus' waist again, his body limp and pliant in the aftermath of his orgasm, and he moaned as Remus drove into him relentlessly. Remus could feel his own release building, and he surrendered to it, lost in the greatest joy he had ever known. For the first time, he was experiencing more than sex, more than a mere physical release -- this was a joining, a union -- and he understood now what it meant to make love.

With one last thrust, he buried himself deep and came, Severus' name on his lips as he cried out his ecstasy. He held himself up, hovering over Severus for a moment as he panted for air, his breathing slowly returning to normal, and then he carefully eased out and rolled off Severus, stretching out on his side and nestling close, resting his head on Severus' shoulder, one arm flung across Severus' waist. They would need to clean up soon, before things got sticky, but not now. Not yet. He wasn't ready to let go completely; it was enough for now that they had returned to their separate bodies.

Severus rested his hand on Remus' arm, smoothing the dark hair with his fingertips, and he leaned his cheek against the top of Remus' head. Smiling, Remus closed his eyes and released a soft, contented sigh. He'd never imagined that things would end up like this when Severus walked into the pub, barging into Remus' life without so much as a by-your-leave, but he had no regrets. He was in love, he was happy, and he didn't see how things could possibly be better.

* * *

When Remus woke up the next morning, he was alone. The bed was empty, the bedroom was empty, and there were no tell-tale sounds of a shower or shaving from the bathroom down the hall. A knot of icy fear tightened in the pit of Remus' stomach as he flung back the covers and rolled out of bed, scrambling to find his dressing gown. He couldn't, so he snatched up his boxers from the floor and yanked them on instead, hurrying downstairs.

Surely Severus hadn't run off, frightened away by morning-after doubt -- but as he raced down the steps, the scent of sausages wafted up to him, and he stopped in his tracks, taking a moment to sag against the wall as he breathed a sigh of relief. After he had composed himself, he continued downstairs and went straight to the kitchen, where he found Severus lounging with a cup of tea, a plate of toast, eggs, and sausage, and wearing Remus' dressing gown as he read the morning paper.

Flipping down the corner of the paper, Severus glanced at him and then nodded in the direction of the stove. "I made breakfast."

"Thank you." Remus fixed himself a plate and joined Severus at the table; it was just like any other morning, except that they'd had sex the night before. Well, that, and Severus had never borrowed his dressing gown before. _Scenes from a domestic life_ , he thought with more than a little amusement.

Finally, Severus folded the paper and put it aside, watching Remus silently for a moment before speaking up. "I've been thinking," he said without preamble. "Neither of us belong in either world. We are outsiders wherever we go."

"True enough." Remus took another bite of sausage and gave Severus a curious look, wondering where this was going.

"You're not a Muggle. Neither am I, nor do I want to be," Severus continued. "That being the case, I don't see why we shouldn't carve out our own niche -- the best of both worlds. As long as we adhere to the laws of magic use around Muggles, there's nothing to stop us."

"You're saying 'we'."

"I am. Should I not?"

"No, no. I simply wondered if it means you want the same thing I do."

"Which is?"

"A relationship, preferably one of the 'until death do us part' variety." Remus rested his hand on Severus' wrist, squeezing it gently. "I want to be with you, Severus. I want a commitment."

Severus met his gaze evenly. "Then we are in agreement."

"Normally, this would be the part when I dragged you off to bed again," Remus said in a conversational tone that belied how much he wanted to do exactly that. "But we should probably discuss this idea of yours first."

Shaking his head, Severus gave a little snort. "I simply don't see why we cannot live in both worlds. Witches and wizards who marry Muggles balance the two worlds. Why shouldn't we? We can work in the Muggle world and have our home in the wizarding world, where we won't have to deal with many of the Muggle inconveniences." He paused and then added as if throwing down his trump card, "In particular, I will have access to the equipment and ingredients I need to brew the Wolfsbane."

Oh, God, but that was tempting. Remus turned the idea over in his mind, poking at it, but it seemed sound. Severus was right: as long as they didn't break any laws, there shouldn't be any reason why they couldn't commute between worlds and enjoy the advantages of both. Not to mention the thought of being able to take the Wolfsbane potion again was almost enough to make him agree on the spot.

"You said we could live in the wizarding world," Remus said, still musing. "That would mean moving away from here, I assume?"

"Yes," Severus replied. "I have a plan, and if you agree, then we may need to move, and I see no reason not to return to the wizarding world where we can perform magic freely as needed. I've decided to attend cooking school. There's a prestigious one in London to which I have already sent an application. Between what I learn there and my own innate talent, I believe I can do rather well as a chef. After I've found a job, I am willing to support you while you return to school to get whatever certification you need to teach. We will need to practice frugality for a few years until we are both established in our respective careers, but the end results will, I believe, be worth it."

"A chef?" Remus was surprised by the choice, but then again, it made sense, considering Severus' background. "You'll have to work with people, you know."

"As long as I don't have to teach them anything, it shouldn't be a problem," Severus retorted. "If I don't like it, I'll find something else. My options are open -- as are yours."

Remus put down his fork and pushed back his chair, moving to straddle Severus' lap, linking his arms around Severus' neck and snugging his hips against Severus'. "You're right," he said, bending his head to brush a kiss against Severus' lips. "We have freedom. We have choices. And if we can pull it off, I would very much like to return to the wizarding world."

"Of course we can." Severus rested his hands at Remus' waist, returning the light brush of a kiss. "We've taken control of our lives and redirected our destinies. We can do what we damned well please."

"Then we will," Remus murmured against Severus' mouth, sliding his hands down to untie the sash of the dressing gown and then slip them beneath to caress Severus' bare skin. "Tomorrow. Today, I think I should call in sick, and we should redirect the course of our lives back to the bedroom."

"Tomorrow is quite soon enough," Severus agreed, his breath hitching at the touch of Remus' hands.

Had he really thought that life couldn't possibly get any better? Remus smiled to himself as their seeking mouths met and sealed the agreement with a kiss. At that moment, he felt as if the entire world was ripe with opportunities just waiting to be plucked, and best of all, he had someone to share them with. Whatever obstacles arose they would face together, and no matter how difficult things became as they carved out an entirely new place for themselves, they would no longer be alone, no longer be isolated.

Remus had found his place to belong. Wizarding world, Muggle world -- it didn't matter where they set up house. As long as he was with Severus, he was home.


End file.
